i am in singapore everybody!!

Happy New Year!!
may 2009 usher love, prosperity and happiness....

my wish list for 2009...

- earn more money
- new salary (double my current salary plzzz)
- new car
- more love for my mom and kitty cat
- find true love... HAHAHAHAHAAH....
- do my degree
- muet
- shopping spree
- a new and better alya
- more smiles

:D

2008 had been a great year indeed... i get my first job... my first salary... bought a handbag for my mom... new friends... great birthday presents... and also bad memories which will remain forever... i am thankful to GOD for all his kindness towards me and my family...

life had been really hactic!! the workloads are crazy!! i went home at 2.30 am yesterday... luckily today is a public holiday... i hope its worth it... anyways, its not that i am working for free right...?? lol... and that is one of the reason why it took me days or even a week to update my blog... i just dont have the time to blog and when i reach home, the one thing that i wanna do; is sleep!! i seriously need to pay my overdue credit card bills... a freaking rm3800... yeah... that much... -_- and i need to pay my phone bill which is rm600... god! i hate working life... i have to pay for everything... and i have to give money to my mom... its like a tradition right...?? hurmm... but i didnt gv her money last month because i spend all my money to buy my super canggih hp... nyahhaha...

i received an email that gave a really big impact on me... i want to share it with my readers because i love you guys and girls...  :)

You thought the dog is imitating the man..... 

Entertaining the college kids...right? 

Now have a close look at it.... 

Despite being an animal he gets respect...

He gets a pat on his shoulder...

He gets warm welcome everywhere..

He is STANDING ALONE

The doors are open for only those who believe in themselves and Will Power which can make an animal walk on TWO LEGS...!! 

i nearly cried after reading this email... it changed my perspective of life... when i become a successful person and people ask me who is my inspiration; i'll tell them this dog is my inspiration... seriously!! i would never say "i cannot do this or that" ever again in my life!!

its been awhile since the last time i updated my blog... thanks to busy schedule and the fucked up internet connection!!
and so here are the highlights from my 'exciting' life... lol...

• after so long, we actually get the time to go shopping together (my mom and i)
• mama bought me undergarments and 2 pairs of marks & spencer boots
• my baby boo has flees!! yucks!!
• brought him to the vet
• shampooed him
• need to bring him to see the vet again this week
• had a fight with mama because mama thinks i love baby more then her... sigh~
• discovered that i can put signature at the end of my test messages... my hp is cool... enough said...
• a model is interested in me... like yeah right! whatever~

him : really like u . i know i hardly know you but i wanna know you n i got no way other than fbook or yahoo
elle : uh
elle : okeeeyyyy
elle : but i need to know why do u like me?
him: i like ur evrythg ur talkinn sense
him: ur nature
him: more over u r beautiful n cute
him: m really in luv
elle: uhhh
elle: hehehhe
elle: thats so nice of u to say that
him: but u r
him: i met wid so many gals but i neva felt need of gal

huhu... sweet or what..? but too bad i don't go for sweet talkers... and fyi, his english is abit strange because he is from india... but he lives in london and now he is studying in malaysia... he is doing part time modelling and he just can't stop bothering me... -_-"

• am addicted to gossip girl!! xoxo... lol... nat is soooo cute!!
• bestie is back!! cant wait to hang out!!
• can't wait for my birthday!!

happy eid everybody!!

okey... where shall i start..?? hurmm...
had a fight with izam last night as i told him i am going clubbing with my friends... he threw his blackberry and it shattered apart... and he is blaming me for it... i just don't know what to say...

and so i went out with my friends as it is one of my friends birthday... went to oblique club... and its a gay club!! no kidding!! its my fault... they wanted to go to modesto but i refused as there are no crowd there... how fun can it be when u are the only one that is dancing on the dance floor...?? no fun right...?? i didn't know that oblique is a gay club... neither do my friends... lol... but we had a great night there... the music was good... the waiters are damn friendly and the best part is, there were alot of hunks there!! like really!! handsome!! macho!! and i don't know where to start if i wanna describe their body... like ahhhhhhh~ i just can't take my eyes of the gays on the dance floor as they were dancing without their shirt on... how hot is that...?? lol...unfortunately they are gays... sigh~ and the funny part was, some of the gays entered the ladies room instead of the gents as they think they are 'ladies'... -_-" it can really confuse you if there is no sign stating its a ladies room... i don't understand why they choose to be gay when they are so hot looking that i am very certain it is superr impossible for the pure ladies to say no to them... this is wrong... so so wrong!! what is happening to this world...?!

anyways, went to watch twilight today... it is a so so romantic story... someone please find me a vampire boyfriend please... there is an animal attraction... okey, i cant remember the lyrics.. lol... went home after movie and i received $100 from my stepdad for hari raya... weeee~ macam tahu je i tengah damn broke kan... ngeh~ ;p

new dress for me... weee~ it looks so african-nish kan...?? hahahhaha...
can't wait for my birthday!!

how *#+!*0 can someone be..???

things are cool between me and mama.. i bought her a GUY LAROCHE handbag on sunday and she started talking to me on monday.. she text me asking if i wanna join her for dinner.. and we even chit chat about work and stuffzz... ha... what a relieve... but yeah.. it cost me abundle to pujuk her... haiizzzz...

me:nah.. for you..
me:sory... (then i kissed her)
mama:took the paper bag and put it on the floor..
me:tengok la.. it cost me like half of my salary..
mama:open the paper bag
me: ishk.. i took the handbag out and showed to her..
mama:hmm.. you did something bad and now u wanna bribe me..
me:where got.. i iklas ah buy for you the gandbag..
mama:i saw your pics in facebook lagi nk tipu..
mama:tuhan je la tahu ikhlas ke tak..
me: -_-"

i think this week is my lucky week.. i star talking to mama and i bought myself a new phone as a birthday gift for myself.. i bought sony ericsson xperia.. aka sony x1!! cash.. rm3100.. and now i am broke.. i just dont know how to manage my money.. lol.. and and i am blogging by using my x1!! weeee~ i am so very happy.. i totally deserve a new handphone after all those hard work.. =)

i hate you!!
damn fucking fagot!!
i feel like killing someone right now!!
someone showed mama all my facebook pictures...
yeah... all that fucked up pictures of me!!
thank you sooo much!!!
i'll fucking scream at you when i know who is that bastard!!
damn you!!
how could you show my mom such pictures...??!!
if you have a daughter, i hope your daughter would be worst then me and you will fucking see all the fucking things that she is doing right with your own eyes!! babi!!
how babi can someone be...??!!
how unthoughtful and bitchy can someone be...??!!
and what the hell is that bastard's point of showing all those pictures to my mom...?!
idiot!!
bodoh!!
babi!!
fat ass!!

i've apologized to mama and there was no responds from her... i know she is mad at me... but... god!! i am such a loser and i am not trying to improve myself... why...?! idk!! just shot me!! i am so fade up and stressed out!! mama is mad at me like all the time... and i am stressed out at work... and that is why i am always out... i just wanna have fun and get all those stressfull things out of my mind... even if its just for one night...

"Just because you want something to be true doesn't mean that it is -- you cannot let your emotions convince your mind of things that aren't real! Take a detached perspective on things, right now. Be brutally honest with yourself about what is going on. What's your role in the day's dramas? When you see things clearly, you have the upper hand. Let other people kid themselves about the reality of the situation while you rise to a leadership role by knowing what the real deal is"

that's from my horoscope thinggy... sometimes all this readings just happen to be true... but yeah i know as muslims i am not suppose to believe in all this stupid readings... but what about the 'thing' that we call sheikh... or mak atok... or whatever that they appear to be... what about all this things...?? are they real...?? do they really take care of us...?? do they really know what is happening in our lives...?? nah... i don't think so... but of course it would be really cool if its true... overall, all the things that they say are not true... and yes... some of it are true... i am confused~

i spoke to julian regarding my increment... and he said that he wants to see my performance in a couple more projects... just to make sure that i really 'deserves' the increment... and for now, he will just give me incentive as a reward... hahahhaha... and so i will be receiving $500 for my hard work in completing BP's drafting project... its better than nothing... but i seriously need my increment ASAP!! omg!! i am soooo gready!! i just can't help it... =)

i'm in the office... at ajoy's place since he gets internet access... its 10.33 am and i am freaking hungry!! there is no job to do... julian asked ajoy to teach me how to do review... but the server is 'out'... we need the server to do the review i think~ hahahahh... whatever it is, i am still not talking to my mom... god knows why... because i myself don't know why... its really depressing!!

zomg!!
FREEDOM ELITE IS THE BEST EVENT EVER!!!
free flow all night long... and i am talking about vodka... pukul 11++ dah flat... lol... the event started at 8.30pm... and i can't even remember what happened... -_-"
they have games... flying fox... and of course good DJs... ;)
check out the tattoos... weee~


things are not good between me and mama...
reason...?? because she kept throwing away all the hot pants that i bought... like wtf right...?! it cost me like rm90 for each... i told her that i am going out and she replied... u don't have to tell me wherever u wanna go... even if u are dead or alive... sigh~ i just don't know what else to say...
anyways, i totally enjoyed my weekend... it was a blast!! thanks to all my friends for taking care of me... love u guys!!

interesting! 4 little details men notice about women...

Hands

I study a girl's hands pretty intensely. Beautiful hands can portray daintiness and strength at the same time. I notice manicures, and complexion. I imagine what it's like to hold them. I'm not much of a hand holder, but pretty hands will turn me into a hand holder. I even watch how a girl grips things. There are definitely different objects and shapes that look amazing in a girl's hands, such as a wine glass. A wine glass has delicate curves that play off a woman's hands. When I notice fingers that are appealing tome, I imagine how those fingertips would feel.

Hair

I've mentioned hair before, so I wouldn't say it's a "little thing". But hair can do simple actions that can evoke powerful emotions. One day I ran into my friend on the way to work-the friend that wore high heels to the soccer game. One thing's for sure: this girl really knows how to take care of and do her hair. We were just talking and walking when a gust of wind blew right down the street and ran through her hair. The indescribable motion that took place in her hair was beautiful. I even noticed that a random guy we passed turned his head and looked. I didn't realize until the day was over, but seeing that gust of wind go through my friend's hair put me in a good mood the rest of the day. So, while hair is a big deal, little random moments can create big, great things.

Attitude Towards Others

When I go out to dinner with a girl, I keep a close eye on how she treats a waiter or hostess. Does she say "thanks," and generally act polite and respectful? Sometimes I feel as if I'm overly cordial to people: I wish them a nice day and always make sure to say "thanks." But, what makes a woman has to do with more than just how she treats me. A person with a beautiful personality treats everyone nicely and respectfully. It's fun to be out with a girl and watch her make people smile from afar. It makes me feel proud and lucky that I'm with her. It's already an amazing thing when I meet a girl that can brighten my days. But if this girl brightens everyone's days, then I'm even luckier.

What Does She Notice?

It's fun meeting different people because they always bring a new perspective. When I break down music I love for people, they ask how I even care about every last little sound and note that I analyze and point out to them. What little things does a woman notice or point out? If we go to a Broadway show, for example,does she notice something in the background set? Does she notice the couple in front of us that are very much in love? Does she notice that the usher hates us because we are whispering and showed up just as the lights were going down? Sure, we share big thoughts and ideas with one another, but sometimes you can learn a lot about a person just by the details they notice in life and moments. It is a fun adventure going out with someone who can laugh at and notice little things, and who always brings new insights to different situations.

Once I realized that I was noticing little things, I came to the conclusion that little simple moments are just part of overall beauty. Beauty can be defined in a collection of moments, or memories more often than it can be defined by someone's appearance.

Seeing a girl across the room, holding a wine glass with pretty hands and making people smile, or a moment in the morning where the wind runs through a girl's hair, or a girl I'm noticing someone walking by in a Members Only jacket, are simple moments that should never be taken for granted.

oh wow~ it looks like its time to change!! lol... i need to do my manicures and pedicures more often... the last time i did mani and pedi was before raya... hair...?? it cost me like abundle if i were to go for wash and blow dry twice or may be three times a week... but its true... it gives a huge impact on your appearance... a friend of mine even asked me to go and blow my hair more often coz it looks beautiful... lol!! attitude...?? yeah... i have attitude problem... i LIKE to shout at people... hahhahah... well... its not my fault because i think they are simply annoying... i can't help it... ;p

work is fine... the BP project is done... that means no superr late overtimes required... and i need to talk to the boss for my increament... heheheheh... the boss said we have to 'chase' whatever we want (in order for the job to be done) and so i'll sure be chasing him for my increament... too bad~

friendster sucks!!
i lost all my friends... 300++ of them!! like wtf..?!
and somehow there is a bulletin posted by me... when it had been ages since the last time i posted any bulletin...
in the other hand, facebook wroockkks!! ahahhaha...
i am sooo addicted to facebook... i wonder why... may be it is because of the applications...

weekend was good...
went for ping pong in cyberjaya... like so far away from home...
then we drove all the way from cyberjaya to kajang because fellow friends want to get drunk... hahahhaha... we spend like 2 hours to look for KK Mart (the only mart that sells liquor at wee hours)... and when we got home, drank 2 cups then everybody tido... yeah... 2 hours and fuel for nothing... thanks!! lol...

went for wedding in melaka today... then we hang around melaka city and i bought the nyonya umbrella... pink colour... cute!! will update the pics when i get it...

i can't wait to go for FREEDOM ELITE on saturday!! weee~ i am one of 5000 members that are selected to attend the event!! but the problem is; i haven't receive the VIP pass yet!! where the hell is it...?! i hope mama didn't throw it away... keeping my fingers crossed...

its a weird feeling...

i can't believe that you could give such a big impact in my life...

but i guess good things don't last long...

i am wishing you all the best in your life...

and i hope that someday we will meet again...

i am praying to GOD; hoping the almighty will give me all the will power and strength so that i will be strong enough to take you out of my mind...

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Take The Good With The Bad

Smile With The Sad

Love What You Got & Remember What You Had,

Always Forgive But Never Forget,

Learn From Your Mistakes But Never Regret,

People Change & Things Go Wrong…

But Just Remember, That Life Goes On.

omg!! i am sooooo relieve~

why...??

because i get to connect to the internet... hahhahaha... i feel so bodoh without internet... no blogging... no facebook-ing... no chatting... no mails... fuh~ like at last!! lol...

the office server is bengong...

the house phone just being reconnected...

and maxis internet sucks...

went to McDonalds yesterday... drivethru...

me : u cakap dengan orang tu...
me : i want to move it move it~
ajoy : tak nak la...
me : u ni boring la...
the girl : may i take your order...??
ajoy : chicken mcdeluxe... bla... bla...bla...
me : change the coke to milo...
me : i want to move it move it~
the girl : what...???
me : i want to move it move it~
the girl : laugh
-_-" i am so chayaya~

went home... and when i entered my room i saw a paper bag on my bed... obviously its for me... duh... and so i opened it and i saw a dress and a card... its from mama... hehehehhe... i read the card and i cried... she bought the dress for my presentation in brunei (which is not confirmed yet..)... and so i go to her room and hugged her and kissed her... and she hugged me and kissed me back... wah... so effing sweet kan...?? can't remember the last time she kissed me... i love my mom!!

me : thanks...
mama : thanks je...??
me : sorry...
mama : sorry je..??
me : then nak cakap ape lagi...??
mama : cakap promise tak minum lagi...
me : insyaallah...
mama : tak nak stop drinking la tu...
me : i'll try... cannot stop everything at once...

and i went out of her room because i was crying... ha~ how touching...
there is something that she wrote in the card that i wanna share...

i can't choose the daughter i want to have
neither can u choose the mother u want to have
but we can choose to understand and tolerate each other;
and respect each other and be responsible to each other.
hope u will be more responsible and mature
thro' these experiences...

and wanna know what she wrote on the envelope...??

for you,
my stubborn beloved daughter

lol...

weekend was great despite the fact that mama is still not talking to me... haiizzz...
went to cyberjaya to play ping pong with friends... it was my first time playing and i think it is a quite good sports for me... hahahhaha... i am thinking of making it as weekly routine... sounds fun!! lol...
btw, here is a video of me versus kdo...
yeah... we suck at playing ping pong... but we had a hell lot of fun!!

after ping pong-ing, we headed to the nearest mamak to get some food then we went to kdo's house and had a so called 'private party' where everyone is sleeping and i and kdo had to finish all the drinks... then esok bangun hang over... huuhhh~

hang out with dear cousin on saturday...

we went to bangsar to do spa treatment, then we went to nelayan restaurant but unfortunately it is full... after that we went to kelana jauh yang punye jauh tu to eat at kelana jaya sea food but we cannot find the restaurant... how chayaya is that...?? lol... at last we dine in at tupai-tupai restaurant in kl... the food was good... after finishing the food and chit chatting, we went to planet hollywood to slack and chill... the band was good... but it is not really my thing coz i love to dance... hehehhehe... overall, it was fun!!

went to watch quantum sollace on sunday... and it is not as i expected... the story line is not that good...

anyways, i had been crying alot last week... thanks to mama...

i told her that i went out with dear cousin and she said i am out with some jantan and that is why i refused to tell her who is that cousin... -_-

and here are the msgs that i send to her...

seriously i don't know what is your problem... kua dengan cousin sendiri pun tak leh ke pe...?? why izit so hard for you to tryst me...?? ouh yeah... its because i cannot be trusted and i am such a bad daughter... you know what... may be i am just tired to try and impress you because all this while the thing that i hear from you is "oh...somebody's child is like this like that... other people's child is super good,responsible and successfull and all..." and what do i get for my achievements and all...?? not even a congradulations... you even say that there is nothing to be proud of... if you think that i am not successful enough, well i work my ass off to get where i am today even it had been for a few months only... i tried so hard to impress you... may be i don't try hard enough because you cannot seem to notice it... i am sorry if you think i am such a failure and i am an embarestment to you... the truth is, i am tired of trying... even if i go work on saturdays, you say i go out and have fun... i don't even know if you love meor not because you had never say that you love me and i can't even remember the last time you hugged me... do you know how it hurts seeing other people's mom hugging their daughter and say that they love them...?? if you don't... i am telling you this... it hurts so much and i cried because of that small little hugging and kisses that they get from their moms.. i know you gonna say that i am so childish and all... but seriously don't take forgranted all the small little things as it can give a big impact to someone... but yet again... like you said... i am just an unworthy and disgusting daughter... so there is no use for me to say anything... i am sorry if i hurt your feelings...

yeah... the msg was that long... and what did mama replied...??

so you don't want to change to be a better person..?? you are happy and proud to be bad..?? you want to grow old and die as a bad person...?? don't wait till its too late... you may choose to be happy and miserable... you want me to trust you but you keep so many secrets from me... you don'e respect me... you do bad things behind my back... you have been so mislead.. you fail to check your behaviour... i trusted you... you lied to me and i pretend i don't know you keep secrets from me... it hurts me you doing all these... you said i dont love you... i am so tired working... you said you tried to impressed me... i never told am proud of your achievements... i gave you gradualtion bear as a token... i don't hug and kiss you + say i love you because i am angry at you for taking me forgranted... its a 2 way street... i am not as dramatic like your friend's mom...

okey... i can only type that... as it is tooo long and i dont think it is relevant for me to write everything here...

and so she didn't express all the love because she is mad at me... hurmmm... then she must be mad at me since i was little... huh~ whatever it is... i just wanna forget about it and act like there is nothing wrong... that is the best that i can do right...?? it is useless for me to say anything to her as it will come back to me... yeah... i am the bad daughter y'all... and she said i am proud of it... and she said she is leaving malaysia for good next year... and she didnt tell me... she told ajoy... and i am supposed that he is more important than me... ajoy... please don't get me wrong... i am just reffering to my mom... i think it is for the best... i won't argue with her that much and i won't get her mad because we will be like soo farrr farrr away from each other... the cure for this problem is... stay away from each other... wtf...?!

enough of that... i am having migraine like everyday... ada barah otak agak nye... hahahhahaha... fuck it!! i hate my life!! i just wanna be loved!! thats all... but i am just not worth it... cheers to me...

You know that it's over when the burnin'
And the yearnin' inside your heart ain't there anymore
And you know that you're through when she don't do to you
And move you like the way he moved ya before

can you see the dark circles around my eyes...??

duh... its so obvious right...

i need more rest... more sleep... and a body massage...

speaking of body massage; i am going for facial and body massage with ******* (sory... i can't mention her name since its a secret...hahahahha...) this saturday!! weee~

its been months since i last did facial and body massage... i really need it!! after all those mind squeezing and body aching drafting that i am doing; i really owe myself a treat... =)

a friend asked me why am i afraid of love...

and the answer is... i am afraid that i might hurt somebody...

yes... thats the fact... i know how deeply it hurts... and so that is why i am afraid that i might hurt somebody and i myself is afraid that i'll get hurt... i know all the 'have to take the risk' speech and bla bla bla... but it is easier to say then to be done right...??

and i am so stress out whenever 'people' around me mention to me about marriage and all because i am just not ready to move to that phase of life and i am still confused with my feelings... i don't think i can make any serious decision at this point of time... i know it hurts to hear it from me, but seriously, it is better to get hurt now then later... its up to you and you and you to stay or leave... ;)

enough of sad love stories... i wanna go home!! like seriously!! i can't remember the last time i get to go back at 6 pm... i wanna go home... sight seeing.... shopping... hang out... haiiizzz~

i want to hate you...

i want to get my mind off you..

but i can't...

but why...??!!

listening to CRUSH by david archuleta

a very happy birthday to my dearest cousin, hadzah aka adik aka belo aka mondok and the list goes on and on... lol...

May you live to be a hundred years

With one extra year to repent

and so mama is STILL not talking to me...

i am sure she is not gonna talk to me unless i talk to her first...

and she will continue ignoring me eventho i talk to her...

yeah... thats my mom...

i feel like something is missing in my life...

life...

may be i am missing my life because i had been working and working for the past i don't know how many months and i had been 'ignoring' everything that is enjoyable in life...

and i miss my oh so far girlfriends...

and i miss 'love life'...

i mean the sweet and full of hugs and kisses love life...

you know what i mean right...??

the problem is, i just cannot get the 'feel' right now...

may be i have some problem with my neuron system or something... lol...

and clubbing life is not as fun as it used to be...

may be because of the crowd...

nah...

may be because the fellow friends are not around to join...

what would i do when i become a mother :

- i would NEVER mention about ghost

- i would remind my kids that i LOVE them every single day

- i would KISS them before i go to work and every night

- i would COOK their favourite food

- i would HELP them with their homeworks

- i would not COMPARE them with other people's kids

- i would scold them but at the same time i'll TELL them why

- i would ASK them if they have any problems

- i would try my best to LISTEN to them

- i don't want to use any VULGAR words to them

- i want them to feel LOVED <---- thats the most important thing

- i would set a CURFEW for them (starting when they become teenagers)

- i would SHARE my life experience with them

- i want the FATHER to be there as they grow up

- i want to BE THERE for them no matter what

- i would ALWAYS acknowledge and congratulate their success and acheivements

- i would SUPPORT them in every good thing they do

i think all the things that we want our kids to practise should be thought since they are babies or may be toodlers; so that they won't feel all the 'pressure' when we say that they cannot do this and that...

i just wanna feel loved...

new layout!!

yey!!

thanks for your help dear... wink2... hhehehehe...

mama is still not talking to me...

sigh~

i seriously hate this situation...

i think it would be better if i get out of that house...

we won't argue that much and may be we will get even closer that way...

-_-

depression is my best friend... wtf right...?!

btw i have something nice to share that made me think twice to get the hell out from that house...

i hope it gives the same impact to my fellow readers too... =)

================================================

Mak.....

Terlalu bosan rasanya duduk membilang hari.....

Dah hampir sepuluh bulan mak pergi,

Rasanya baru semalam mak peluk kiter kan sejuk syahdu masih terasa lagi nih....

Mak tau tak.....

itu lah pertama kali mak peluk anak mak yang nakal ni sejak kiter dewasa.....

dan itu juga terakhir kali nya.

Emmmm...

rupanya mak dah tau mak nak pergi jauh.....

nak tinggal kan anak2 mak.....

nak tinggal kan dunia fana ni.....

mak macam dah sedia.....

Seminggu sebelum tu.....

mak dah menganyam tikar mengkuang 3 helai.....

Akak kata sampai ke pagi mak anyam tikar tuu....

tanpa rasa mengantuk, tanpa rasa letih.....

kakak pun rasa hairan.....

mak tak penah buat gitu.....

pastu mak pasang radio kecil di sebelah mak.....

tapi mak seolah2 tak sedar bahawa rancangan radio tu siaran siam ......

kengkadang siaran indonesia ...

mak terus tekun menganyam...

Rupanya tikar yang telah mak siapkan tu di gunakan untuk mengiringi mak ke kuburan...

Pastu mak sapu sampah sekeliling rumah bersih2....

pastu mak jemur karpet-karpet. ..

pastu mak ubahkan sofa ke tempat lain..

mak biarkan ruang tu kosong..

rupanya kat situ jenazah mak diletakkan..

paling menarik sekali mak bgtau kat maner sume duit dan barang kemas mak..

ada kat dalam almari.....

ada kat dalam dalam beg.....

ada dalam ASB.....

ada kat dalam Tabung Haji..

mak cakap tak berapa cukup lagi....

ada kat dalam gulung tikar.....

masa tu mak perasan takk..??

kiter gelak sakan bila mak bgtau duit dalam gulung tikar...

kiter kata mak ni memang pesenn lama laaa...

mak cuma gelak jer...

eeemmm..bahagiaa nya saat ituu..

Mak.....

Hari tu hari sabtu 18/08/1999 pukul 3 petang mak tiba2 sakit perut.....

bila malam tu kiter sampai dari KL.....

mak dah dalam kesakitan.

Akak dan abang kat kampong semua dah pujuk.....

mak tetap takmau pi hospital.... .

dan cuma tinggal giliran kiter sahaja yang belum pujuk..

Mak kata mak takmau duduk dalam hospital.... .

tapi kiter berkeras juga pujukk..

nanti di hospital ada doktor...

ada ubat untuk mak..

kat rumah kami hanya mampu sapu minyak dan urut jer..

Mak tetap tak bersetuju... ..

mak memang degil..

tak salah, anak mak yang ni pon mengikut perangai mak tu..

Tapi akhirnya bila melihat keadaan mak makin teruk....

mak sakit perut sampai nak sentuh perut mak pon sakit

kami adik beradik sepakat hantar juga mak ke hospital....

Mak.....

amponkan kami semua...

kami nak mak sehat...

kami sayang mak...

kami tak mau mak sakit...

kami terpaksa juga hantar mak ke hospital....

ampon kan kami yer mak....

Mak.....

Malam itu abang bawa mak ke hospital

dan itu lah pertama dan terakhir kali mak naik kereta kiter...

Masih terbayang betapa ceria dan gembiranya mak,kiter kata nak beli kereta....

Mak asyik tanya ajer..

cukup ker duitt..

kiter jawab pula...

kalau tak cukup, mak kan banyak duit...

mak gelak ajerr.....

Lepas tu bila kereta kiter sampai....

mak buat kenduri kesyukuran.. ....

Dan kiter masih ingat lagi...

bila kiter eksiden terlanggar Ah-Chong naik motor.....

Punya la kiter takut...

kiter warning kakak kiter jangan sesekali bgtau kat mak.....

Bila balik sahaja kampong....

kiter cepat-cepat simpan keta dalam garaj.....

Tapi mak perasan juga bumper depan kemek...

mak tanya kenapa...?

Selamba jerr kiter jawab terlangar pokok bunga.....

Mak....

tujuan kiter menipu tu supaya mak tak risau...

Maafkan kiter kerana sampai mak pergi mak tak tau hal sebenar...

mak, kiter menipu mak kan ...

ampon kan kiter....

Mak.....

Jam 4.30 pa gi 19/08 /2006

Bila tiba aja kat hospital....

nurse tengah balut mak dengan kain putih.....

mak mesti nampak kiter jatuh terduduk di lantai hospital...

Mesti mak nampak abang cium dahi mak.....

Mesti mak nampak akak baca doa untuk mak....

Mesti mak nampak adik terduduk kat kerusi kat sudut itu...

mesti mak nampak semua tu kann...kann. .kannn

Mak tau tak....

Pagi tu balik dari hospital jam 5.20 pagi kiter mamandu dalam keadaan separuh sedar...

Adik kat sebelah diam melayan perasann...

Kenangan bersama mak berputar dalam kepala ini...

jalan di depan terasa makin kelam.....

airmata dah tak mampu di tahan....

Masa tu seandainya apa-apa terjadi di jalan itu kiter rela...

Namun alhamdulillah akhirnya kiter sampai juga...

di sebab kan pagi masih awal, jadi jalan tu lenggang..

kosong. ...

sekosong hati ini.....

Sepanjang perjalanan terasa kedinginan subuh itu lain benar suasananya.. ...

terasa syahdu dan sayu...

dinginnnn. ....

Mak.....

Kiter masih ingat lagi...

Kiter baca AlQuran kat tepi mak temankan mak..

Jam 11.00 pagi mak di mandi kan ....

Anak2 mak yang pangku masa mak mandi....

Mak mesti rasa betapa lembut nya kami mengosok seluruh tubuh mak.....

Kiter gosok kaki mak perlahan lahan.....

Mak perasan tak...?

Makcik yang mandikan mak tu pujuk kiter.....

Dia kata..." dikk...jangan nangis...kalau sayang mak jangan buat gitu...jangan nangis ya.."

Bila makcik tu kata gitu...

lagi laaaa laju airmata ni..

tapi kiter kawal supaya tak menitik atas mak....

Mak.....

Sampai takat ini surat ni kiter tulis.....

kiter nangis ni.....

Ni kat dlm bilik...

baru pukul 4.00 pagi....

Takder orang yang bangun lagi.....

kiter dengar nasyid tajuk "anak soleh" kiter sedih...

kiter rindu kat mak..!

Takpa la....

nanti bila kita selesai sembanyang subuh,kiter baca yassin untuk mak...

mak tunggu ya..!

Mak..

Sebelum muka mak di tutup buat selamanya... .

Semua anak2 mak mengelilingi mak...

menatap wajah mak buat kali terakhir....

Semua orang kata mak seolah2 senyum aja...

Mak rasa tak....

masa tu kiter sentuh dahi mak....

kiter rasa sejukkkk sangat dahi makk.....

Kiter tak mampu nak cium mak...

kiter tak daya....

kiter tuliskan kalimah tauhid kat dahi mak dengan air mawar...

Airmata kiter tak boleh tahan....

Mak mesti ingat kan yang anak mak ni jadi imam solat jenazah untuk mak...

tapi kite suruh tok imam bacakan doa sebab kite sebak....

Jam 12 tengahari mak diusung keluar dari rumah....

Akak pula dah terkulai dlm pelukan makcik...

badan akak terasa panas...

makk...

anak mak yang seorang tu demam....

Mak tauu...

cuma akak sorang saja anak mak yang tak mengiringi mak ke tanah perkuburan.. .

Mak.....

Hari2 ku lalui tanpa kewujudan mak lagi...

Begitu terasa kehilangan mak...

boleh kata setiap malam selepas maghrib anak mak ini berendam airmata...

Dan sampai satu tahap....

masa tu malam jumaat selepas maghrib...

Selepas kiter baca yassin ngan kawan-kawan. ....

entah kenapa biler kat bilik kiter keluarkan gambar2 mak pastu apa lagi...

semakin kiter tenung terasa semakin sayu...tangisan tak dapat dibendung...

Mak tauu...

kiter cuba bertahan...

memujuk diri sendiri tapi tak juga reda...

Kiter rasa nak telefon mak...

nak cakap dengan mak....

anak mak yang ni dah tak betul kan ...????

Dan akhirnya dalam sedu sedan itu kiter telefon kampong...

Kiter cakap dengan kakak..

kiter nangis lagi...

Puas la kakak memujuk kiter...

Akak kata..." tak baik laa nangis aje..doa lah untuk mak.."

Dan akhirnya akak juga nangis.....

Mak tau tak..

di saat itu kerinduan terasa menusuk sehingga ke hulu hati...

rasa nyilu sangat...

menusuk-nusuk sehingga terasa begitu sakit dalam dada ni....

Sampai sekarang bila kerinduan itu menjelma...

hanya sedekah al-fatihah kiter berikan.....

Mak....

cukup la sampai sini dulu....

kawan kiter dah ketuk pintu bilik tu....

kejap lagi kami nak pergi solat subuh kat masjid...

selalunya, kiter yang bawak mak naik motor kan ....

kali ni kiter jalan kaki dengan kawan pulak...

esok kiter ingat nak tulis surat kat ayah pula....

Mula2 kiter tak tau nak hantar mana surat nih...

pastu kawan kiter bgtau...

simpan je buat kenangan..

Kiter cuma tau alamat ni aje...

Takper yer mak...

kiter kasi orang lain baca...

Kiter stop dulu...

sebab kawan kiter dah lama tunggu tu...

akhir kata untuk mak,I LOVE YOU SO MUCH

dan jutaan terima kasih kerana membesarkan kiter...

memberi seluruh kasih sayang dari kecil sampai masuk sekolah..

sampai masuk unibesiti..

sampai kiter boleh rase naik kapal terbang...

boleh rasa duduk kat negara orang...

sampai akhir hayat ini jasa mak tak akan mampu kiter balas..

Sekian terima kasih,

Yang Benar,

Anak mak yang dah tak degil

am feeling quite depressed...
its like nothing that i do is right...
there is nothing that i can do to make mama proud...
how pathetic is that...??
she would go.... other people's child like this... like that...
other people's child are such good children...
and everything that i do is just plain WRONG!!

a good example...
"caca punya gaji $800 bagi mak dia $400... kau gaji beribu bagi aku $200 je..."

duh... i have a car... i need to pay my bills... the fuel... the parking...
okey2... may be she is a better daughter then i am but still... i do put an effort to give her some money... i know she doesnt really want my money... she has hers... she just wanna see if i am a good daughter or not...

i get scolding + slap + pinch from mama yesterday... because i was out the whole day... okey... for 2 days...
she said i am such a bad daughter...
the only thing that i wanna do is have fun...
i have no sympathy for her....
i am treating her like %$^%$
and my cat get scolding from her as well...

i am just really really sad because all this while i just get all this fucking scolding and the words that mama uses really hurts my feelings... i had NEVER in my life hear mama saying "I LOVE YOU" to me... seriously... sometimes i wonder if she loves me or not...

and she said the next time i am home late, i'll find all my belongings out of the house and she'll change all the locks... yeah... she has no problem kicking out her ONLY CHILD!! i cannot judge her... but it really hurts hearing all the stufs that she said... i am seriously thinking of renting a house and i'll bring baby to stay with me...

and she once told me i would know when i get a 'disgusting' daughter like me... and that is after i apologise to her... what did i do...?? i bought for her the wrong ticket... which is not my fault because she is the one who told me to buy in that certain date... and she scolded me because she said i am so inconsiderate and i should know that she gave me the wrong date... and she said the only thing that i care about is myself...

i just need some time alone~
i am miserable...
i should stop now before i start crying...

look at my cat with his new play house... =)

i went to pets wonderland at great eatern mall to buy baby's can food but unfortunately they are out of stock... then i saw all this cute little play house that they display and i bought this play house for baby... yeah... i like to waste money and pamper my baby cat... and how does he repay me...?? by peeing on my comforter + leg when i was asleep last night!!! grrrrr~ you are so lucky that i am so in love with you little cat!! if not, i would have killed you or may be throw you in the jungle!! okey... may b that is how he shows his appreciation... lol... -_-"

and and it seems like he is just too fat for the play house... he would go in and out and turn here and there to find 'the spot' to sleep... i should have bought a bigger play house for him... hurmm... may be the one with the monkey hanging on the tree play house... ;p

had a long conversation with my bestie... and i told her everything about that someone and she said... "fuck him!!" lol... i should listen to her... and so i deleted all his number from my phonebook... and yeah... i feel a little bit relieve... =)

its november!! another one month to go!! can't wait for x1 to be launch!!! weee~

but at the same time, iphone is just super cool... i love all the easy peasy and user friendly software... they even have lightsaber software... and it is just super stupid... hahhahahah...

weekends!! woottt!!

i baked; baked maccaroni!!

weeee~

it was my first trial without using any recepies... i am such a good cook!! hahahahahah...

and it is delicious!! seriously... the only problem was i don't have enough beef and chesse... overall its yummy!! =)

i am starting to love cooking...

and so julian asked me to organised a farewall aka birthday party for adib and nik... i ordered 8 large pizzas, 30 pieces of chicken wings, 24 pieces chesse stick and cut fries... and i spend around rm311 for the foods... not bad uh... if he had told me earlier i would have organised a superb party!! lol...

i am so stressed up since i have to rework every single platform's drawings; no thanks to the %#@*^ project manager!! PDE should just fire you!! it is harder to redo the drawings rather than completing the whole drawing from scratch... i hate working with unorganised people!! i feel like a complete idiot doing something then you rotate it again and we have to correct everything again!! all the stupid annotation is making me nuts!!! seriously!! i need to party!! but i can't seem to drink alot nowadays... hurmm... i wonder why... plus i hate hang overs~ -_-

• mama is in singapore...
• i cooked udang masak sambal, ikan bilis sambal and kobis masak lemak yesterday...
• it took me a freaking 1 hour plus to finish cooking all the dishes...
• my dishes are delicious!! except for the kobis masak lemak...
• i just love to brag... lol...
• planning to make baked maccaroni today...
• forgot to take pictures of the dishes that i cooked since i was hungry... :p
• the nosy uncle guard passed away because of stroke...
• gonna buy baby lotsa2 science plan can food
• baby puked on mama's rug yeterday
• and i threw the rug away... =)

• reached home
• played with my baby cat
• mama was watching tv
• joined mama in the living room
• hugged her

mama : why...??

alya : nothing...

mama : there must be something that you want to tell me...

alya : no... nothing...

mama : come on... i know you...

alya : nothing...

mama : are you pregnant...??

alya : hahahha... funny!!

mama : then...??

alya : nothing... (felt like crying but i stopped myself from crying...)

mama : you want money...?? how much...??

alya : no...

silence... keep watching tv...

i have an imaginary friend... seriously... scary...?? pathetic...?? say all you want but hurmmm... thats the only person that i can talk to right now... i cried just now... in the office... at my place... why...?? i don't know... i just feel like there is nobody that can understand me and it hurts so much when i'm being ignored... i'm the only child... so i am so used to get all the attention and love and my mom does everything for me... so when i am given this small responsibility and i can't get it right, i feel like such a loser.. nah... it has nothing to do with work... its about my life... and i miss my mom so much right now... i feel like hugging her and cry in her arms... i have nothing to tell her... i just need that motherly comfort arms right now...

and and i am crying right now...

i hate it!!

i am so weak!!

i should grow up!!

i just can't accept it when someone scold me!!

expecially if that scolding is from someone who is close to me...

sigh~

i need to go...

I HATE MY LIFE!!

EVERYTHING SEEMS TO ANNOYED ME!!

JUST FUCKING IGNORE ME!!

I WANNA CRY!!

BYE!!

new face...

new look...

new blog skin...

new hair do...

and yeah... i've cut my hair!! yey!! not my entire hair... just my fringe... i've always wanted a fringe... =)

i am feeling empty...

really really empty...

i cried the other day because i am so depressed...

chatted with azmi this morning... i told him that i feel empty despite of all the attention that i get and he said its because i don't know what i want... yeah... i think its true... i don't know what i want... and i am still searching for it... and he said that we'll know what we want once we get it... i hope that i'll find it soon...

enough of depressing thoughts... i can't wait to buy sony ericsson X1!! weee~ the phone is just soooo irresistable!! it feels like forever to wait for it to be launched... X1 will be launched in december... i guess i will be buying it for myself as a birthday gift... unless if there is anyone who is volunteering to buy for me... hahahhah...

A little boy asked his mother, “Why are you crying?”

“Because I’m a woman,” she told him.

“I don’t understand,” he said.

His Mom just hugged him and said, “And you never will.”

Later the little boy asked his father, “Why does mother seem to cry for no reason?”

“All women cry for no reason,” was all his dad could say.

The little boy grew up and became a man, still wondering why women cry.Finally he put in a call to God. When God got on the phone, he asked, “God, why do women cry so easily?”

God said:”When I made the woman she had to be special. I made her shoulders strong enough to carry the weight of the world, yet gentle enough to give comfort.I gave her an inner strength to endure childbirth and the rejection that many times comes from her children.I gave her a hardness that allows her to keep going when everyone else gives up, and take care of her family through sickness and fatigue without complaining.I gave her the sensitivity to love her children under any and all circumstances, even when her child has hurt her very badly.I gave her strength to carry her husband through his faults and fashioned her from his rib to protect his heart.I gave her wisdom to know that a good husband never hurts his wife, but sometimes tests her strengths and her resolve to stand beside him unfalteringly.And finally, I gave her a tear to shed. This is hers exclusively to use whenever it is needed.”

"You see my son,” said God, “the beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair. The beauty of a woman must be seen in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart - the place where love resides.”

its 5.30 am and i am still in the office... on a saturday night or morning... like wtf right...?? i can't believe i am this workaholic... or maybe someone draged me to do more overtimes... hahhahahah... nah... i decided not to come on saturday; and so i tried to finish all my work on friday and unfortunately i failed to complete it... shhhesshh~ this is why i hate working life!! working life = no life!!

anyways, look at the dummy workers... siap ada kening lagi... ahahhahahah...

my horoscope :

You have been attracting flighty people lately -- and while it's been fun, it has also been fairly frustrating. So today it will do you well to take a break from people who always seem to cancel on you at the last minute. Call up one or two of the people who you know you can always count on and find out when you guys can get together next. You don't have to cut your ties with the people who are driving you nuts right now, either. Variety is the spice of life, and of friendships!

so so so super true!!

okey, i just don't know what else to update... toodles...

Question :

what does the girl feels when the boy suddenly changed his mood when the girl refuses to sleep with him...?? she travelled all the way just to suprised him for his birthday then she gets that certain reaction after a couple of drinks... she says that she needs to go home since she is working tomorrow morning and the guy was like... 'okey... finish up your drinks... it is already late... u need to go home...' and he even refuses to shake hands with her just because of that... and he told the girl that she doesnt need to come all the way to his place if she want to meet him... and he says that the girl don't have to come to his open house as it is cancelled (which is a lie) and both of them would probably b busy with work loads and all that they can bearly have time for the relationship... the boy says that he needs time to understand the girl as he thinks that the girl put her work as her priority... and the conversation ends with... 'lets concentrate on our career and hopefully none of us would regret it at the end of the day... take care...'

whoooaaa!! drama uh~ lol...

god!! i am really exhausted!! i've been doing overtimes the whole week... well, since ramadhan and now i am really really exhausted!! like really!! god... i just don't know how to emphasize on how tired i am... i need a massage asap!! here is a story that touched me and i want to share it with others... enjoy!

THE BRICK

A young and successful executive was traveling down a neighborhood street, going a bit too fast in his new Jaguar. He was watching for kids darting out from between parked cars and slowed down when he thought he saw something. As his car passed, no children appeared. Instead, a brick smashed into the Jag's side door!
He slammed on the brakes and backed the Jag back to the spot where the brick had been thrown. The angry driver then jumped out of the car, grabbed the nearest kid and pushed him up against a parked car shouting, 'What was that all about and who are you? Just what the heck are you doing? That's a new car and that brick you threw is going to cost a lot of money Why did you do it?' The young boy was apologetic. 'Please, mister...please, I'm sorry but I didn't know what else to do,' He pleaded. 'I threw the brick because no one else would stop...' With tears dripping down his face and off his chin, the youth pointed to a spot just around a parked car. 'It's my brother, 'he said 'He rolled off the curb and fell out of his wheelchair and I can't lift him up.' Now sobbing, the boy asked the stunned executive, 'Would you please help me get him back into his wheelchair? He's hurt and he's too heavy for me.'

Moved beyond words, the driver tried to swallow the rapidly swelling lump in his throat. He hurriedly lifted the handicapped boy back into the wheelchair, then took out a linen handkerchief and dabbed at the fresh scrapes and cuts. A quick look told him everything was going to be okay. 'Thank you and may God bless you,' the grateful child told the stranger. Too shook up for words, the man simply watched the boy! push his wheelchair-bound brother down the sidewalk toward their home.

It was a long, slow walk back to the Jaguar. The damage was very noticeable, but the driver never bothered to repair the dented side door. He kept the dent there to remind him of this message: 'Don't go through life so fast that someone has to throw a brick at you to get your attention!' God whispers in our souls and speaks to our hearts. Sometimes when we don't have time to listen, He has to throw a brick at us. It's our choice to listen or not.

Thought for the Day:

- If God had a refrigerator, your picture would be on it.

- If He had a wallet, your photo would be in it.

- He sends you flowers every spring.

- He sends you a sunrise every morning Face it, friend - He is crazy about you!
- God didn't promise days without pain, laughter without sorrow, sun without rain, but He did promise strength for the day, comfort for the tears, and light for the way.
- If God brings you to it, He will bring you through it.

my favourite kuih raya!! yum2x!!
i think in the inside is the hard suji and then it is covered with chocolate...
omg!! i just can't resisit it!!

lets challenge your mind!!

Just try this. It is from an orthopedic surgeon... This will boggle your mind and you will keep trying over and over again to see if you can outsmart your foot, but, you can't. It's preprogrammed in your brain!

1. While sitting where you are at your desk in front of your computer, lift your right foot off the floor and make clockwise circles.

2. Now, while doing this, draw the number '6' in the air with your right Hand. Your foot will change direction.

I told you so!!! And there's nothing you can do about it! You and I both know how stupid it is, but before the day is done you are going to try it again, if you've not already done so. hahahahhah...

to all muslims, read this!!

i recieved my graduation photos yesterday... and and the pictures are fucking ugly!! no... i mean, my face is fugly in those pictures!! it must be the lighting... lol... anyways, i'll make sure that i'll go on diet when i am graduating for my degree; which i don't know when... -_-"

working life sucks! from all the early morning wake up calls, to the work loads, during all the times when there are no work at all, bosses and all the overtimes required... but yeah... life must go on... i hope i can't continue my studies asap...

dancing under the milky twilight~ <------- i am sure it'll be fun!

attention girls!! read this!!

Something Oprah Had To Say About Men

If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away.

If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay.

Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior.

Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache.

Stop trying to change yourself for a relationship that's not meant to be.

Slower is better.

Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy.

If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve, then heck no, you can't "be friends".

A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend.

Don't settle.If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is.

Don't stay because you think "it will get better." You'll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better.

The only person you can control in a relationship is YOU.

Avoid men who've got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women. He didn't marry them when he got them pregnant, why would he treat you any differently?

Always have your own set of friends separate from his.

Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you.

If something bothers you, speak up.

Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later. (this is the exact thing that my mom used to tell me...)

You cannot change a man's behavior.Change comes from within.

Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are... even if he has more education or in a better job. Do not make him into a quasi-god. He is a man, nothing more nothing less.

Never let a man define who you are.

Never borrow someone else's man.

If he cheated with you, he'll cheat on you.

A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you.

You should not be the one doing all the bending...compromise is two way street.

You need time to heal between relationships...there is nothing cute about baggage... deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship.

You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you...a relationship consistsof two WHOLE individuals...look for someone complimentary...not supplementary.

Dating is fun...even if he doesn't turn out to be Mr. Right.

Make him miss you sometimes...when a man always know where you are, andyou're always readily available to him - he takes it for granted.

Never move into his mother's house.

Never co-sign for a man.

Don't fully commit to a man who doesn't give you everything that you need.

Keep him in your radar but get to know others.

They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them,a day to love them and an entire lifetime to forget them.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

my fat baby is back!! yey!! dunno what i am talking about...? its my cat!! yes!! that fat cat!! lol... miss him lottss~ he had been with me the whole day... okey... not entirely the whole day...whenever i'm at home... i am sure he misses me... =) miss u too gemok!! muahhhxx~

cleaned up the house and cooked spaghetti today as the ex boyfriend is coming for hari raya... first text msg that i received this morning... around 10.00 am... from his sister...

"kak... akak masak spaghetti tak...?? hehhehe..." -_-"

wow!! its been a while since the last time i updated my blog.. and its already the 8th day of eid... i won't upload any raya pics here as most of my blog readers are my facebook and friendster friends... hahhah... talking about facebook; i was sooo pissed off with my laptop and internet connection because it took me like 1 hour to upload 1 picture!! like wtf!! super slow~ hummph... need to get a new laptop and upgrade my internet speed...

raya was okey... it is not as exciting as it used to be... may be because we are not kids anymore... how i wish i can stay as kids forever... lol... duit raya...?? hmm... just rm100++... plus i have to give duit raya to mak johore, cik ah and farisya... haizz... and aunty cha kept mumbling that she have yet to 'taste' my salary... -_-"

i am back to work!! fucking irritating!! i am just lazy to elaborate about it...

i want these fairy costumes!!

i miss my baby cat!!

updates!!!

life had been really difficult... mentally, physically and emotionally... and i am broke!! really!! i received my pay on saturday; which is yesterday and its like mysteriously dissapear... lol.. no la... i paid my credit card, my handphone bill and... hurmm... i think that would be all... i know i had spend a lot by using my card and so i had to pay it back... cheers to me for paying my depts eventho not in full amount... hehheheh...

i borrowed ajoy's psp and i am addicted to it... reason...?? because of the stupid sims 2 game!! haih... and so i bought myself a deep red psp... ;D it costs me $1039!! damn it!! i had to add another $100 because of the colour... special edition la konon... hahahha... i tried to pay by using my card but my card was declined... i think mama put limit on my card and so i had to pay half by card and another half by cash... and that is the main reason why i am totally broke... -_-"

i bought the full package... and the packagee consist of :

- the psp

- 4G memory card

- up to 4G games

- sony earphone

- sony pouch

- and all the stupid settings

- plus another 50 free games of my choice

went to aquaria last weekend... and here are the overdue pics... bought the tickets by using my student ID since students get discount price... hehhehe... luckily there is no expiry date stated on my student id... ;D