weekend was great despite the fact that mama is still not talking to me... haiizzz...
went to cyberjaya to play ping pong with friends... it was my first time playing and i think it is a quite good sports for me... hahahhaha... i am thinking of making it as weekly routine... sounds fun!! lol...
btw, here is a video of me versus kdo...
yeah... we suck at playing ping pong... but we had a hell lot of fun!!

after ping pong-ing, we headed to the nearest mamak to get some food then we went to kdo's house and had a so called 'private party' where everyone is sleeping and i and kdo had to finish all the drinks... then esok bangun hang over... huuhhh~

hang out with dear cousin on saturday...

we went to bangsar to do spa treatment, then we went to nelayan restaurant but unfortunately it is full... after that we went to kelana jauh yang punye jauh tu to eat at kelana jaya sea food but we cannot find the restaurant... how chayaya is that...?? lol... at last we dine in at tupai-tupai restaurant in kl... the food was good... after finishing the food and chit chatting, we went to planet hollywood to slack and chill... the band was good... but it is not really my thing coz i love to dance... hehehhehe... overall, it was fun!!

went to watch quantum sollace on sunday... and it is not as i expected... the story line is not that good...

anyways, i had been crying alot last week... thanks to mama...

i told her that i went out with dear cousin and she said i am out with some jantan and that is why i refused to tell her who is that cousin... -_-

and here are the msgs that i send to her...

seriously i don't know what is your problem... kua dengan cousin sendiri pun tak leh ke pe...?? why izit so hard for you to tryst me...?? ouh yeah... its because i cannot be trusted and i am such a bad daughter... you know what... may be i am just tired to try and impress you because all this while the thing that i hear from you is "oh...somebody's child is like this like that... other people's child is super good,responsible and successfull and all..." and what do i get for my achievements and all...?? not even a congradulations... you even say that there is nothing to be proud of... if you think that i am not successful enough, well i work my ass off to get where i am today even it had been for a few months only... i tried so hard to impress you... may be i don't try hard enough because you cannot seem to notice it... i am sorry if you think i am such a failure and i am an embarestment to you... the truth is, i am tired of trying... even if i go work on saturdays, you say i go out and have fun... i don't even know if you love meor not because you had never say that you love me and i can't even remember the last time you hugged me... do you know how it hurts seeing other people's mom hugging their daughter and say that they love them...?? if you don't... i am telling you this... it hurts so much and i cried because of that small little hugging and kisses that they get from their moms.. i know you gonna say that i am so childish and all... but seriously don't take forgranted all the small little things as it can give a big impact to someone... but yet again... like you said... i am just an unworthy and disgusting daughter... so there is no use for me to say anything... i am sorry if i hurt your feelings...

yeah... the msg was that long... and what did mama replied...??

so you don't want to change to be a better person..?? you are happy and proud to be bad..?? you want to grow old and die as a bad person...?? don't wait till its too late... you may choose to be happy and miserable... you want me to trust you but you keep so many secrets from me... you don'e respect me... you do bad things behind my back... you have been so mislead.. you fail to check your behaviour... i trusted you... you lied to me and i pretend i don't know you keep secrets from me... it hurts me you doing all these... you said i dont love you... i am so tired working... you said you tried to impressed me... i never told am proud of your achievements... i gave you gradualtion bear as a token... i don't hug and kiss you + say i love you because i am angry at you for taking me forgranted... its a 2 way street... i am not as dramatic like your friend's mom...

okey... i can only type that... as it is tooo long and i dont think it is relevant for me to write everything here...

and so she didn't express all the love because she is mad at me... hurmmm... then she must be mad at me since i was little... huh~ whatever it is... i just wanna forget about it and act like there is nothing wrong... that is the best that i can do right...?? it is useless for me to say anything to her as it will come back to me... yeah... i am the bad daughter y'all... and she said i am proud of it... and she said she is leaving malaysia for good next year... and she didnt tell me... she told ajoy... and i am supposed that he is more important than me... ajoy... please don't get me wrong... i am just reffering to my mom... i think it is for the best... i won't argue with her that much and i won't get her mad because we will be like soo farrr farrr away from each other... the cure for this problem is... stay away from each other... wtf...?!

enough of that... i am having migraine like everyday... ada barah otak agak nye... hahahhahaha... fuck it!! i hate my life!! i just wanna be loved!! thats all... but i am just not worth it... cheers to me...