first day of menses! i hate it!
i hate it when it comes and i am worried when it doesnt.. hahahah..
no wonder i've been very moody since last week.. even the smallest thing would make me angry.. haaiizz..

i'm going to be 23 years old tomorrow.. i've received 2 advance birthday presents.. one from my aunt and another one is from my friend.. thank you so much!
anyways, below are all the things that i wish for my birthday :

1. Audi TT Coupe
2. Chanel Handbag
3. Miu Miu Heels
4. Sony Cybershot Camera

=)
is it too much to ask..? hehehehe..
oh well.. a girl can wish and dream as much as she wants right?


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alot had happened since the last time i updated my blog.. i've been robbed, my car had been hit from the back, i started my class and i get an increment..

i feel like i've been through alot this year.. especially the not so good experience.. its like 2009 is really not a good year for me.. sigh.. but life must go on right..?

i am so looking forward for 2010 with hope that 2010 will bring joy and success for me.. i also have a list of resolution for next year! suprise? so am i.. hahahaha.. i am not usually the person who make resolutions for new year..

trying to complete my degree with flying colors would be one of my new year's resolution.. but it looks impossible for me since the course is so difficult! getting 'pass' for any subject would be good enough.. there is absolutely NO reading and memorizing subject! all subjects are calculations subjects! and i am so not good with numbers! i hate numbers! i even hate my credit card total bill numbers!!! i am thinking of quitting.. what say you..? good idea? no? may be mechanical engineering is just not for me.. i've never seen myself in engineering.. i am in this field because of my mom..

i've just receive a text msg from my mom saying that she is making an 'island' in my bedroom.. ISLAND! hahahha.. she said Kimora Lee Simon said every successfull girl must have an island of her own.. huh?? gagagaga.. is this a fungshui thing or what..? well.. i guess i have to get home and discover how my bedroom looks like when its turn into an island.. LOL!


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seriously it is hard to survive if you are living in the city! money are like running water.. you have to wait for a month to get that fat pay check and in less then a day it will be gone.. sigh~

i need at least $3200 monthly only for all the bills.. seriously! that does not include my pocket money.. just for the bills and my mom's monthly pocket money.. gagaga~ my head is gonna explode!

yes i know people will say i should stop shopping and all.. i cannot help it! i need to shop to destress!! its not like i buy handbags and shoes monthly.. i really do control myself..

i really need an increament considering i have to pay for my education fees as well.. sigh~

you will need at least $10k salary to survive! seriously! i can't imagine how people earning less then me can survive.. plus if they have kids, it would be a nightmare!



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i love you too much to let you go..

but i think it is time to let you go..

it hurts so much to think about it but i think it is for the best..

i can't tolerate you..

and you can't tolarate me..

you clearly said you had been patient with me for the past 6 years.. its like you had been suffering in silence..

to love you is to let you go..

to love you is to let you find your happinest..

to love you is to release you from all the sufferings..

to love you is to look at you and know that you will find someone that will make you happy..

i love you but i guess it is just not meant to be..

i can't find enough strenght and anger to hate you..

all i can say is.....

i love you too much to let you go..

this would be one of the most hardest thing that i have to do in my life..



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its been a while..
i've been busy..
busy with work and all..
overall, everything had been great!

i've been accepted to join UTM Space - Bachelor in Mechanical Engineering!!!
i am so happy and nervous at the same time! thinking about all the classes and assignments and test and exams and quizes.. omg! omg! i am not sure if my brain can still absorb any educational stuffs.. lol!
so i'll be going to UTM Skudai in Johore on the 5th Dec 09 for the registration and my class will start on 19th Dec 09.. next month! in a couple of weeks.. phew~

the next thing that i need to think about is the uni fees.. i don't have enough savings.. so i decided to ask mama to pay for my fees.. heheehe.. of course she agrees! i am the only child.. plus i won't be able to request for educational loan since i don't have any guarantor..

so here is my checklist :

1. important docs for registration [ ]
2. outfit [ ]
3. fees [x]
4. study bag [ ]
5. laptop [x]
6. color my hair [ ]
7. stationary [x]

hurmm.. there are alot of things that i need to get done asap..

btw, my classes would be on the weekends.. yes! on saturdays and sundays.. i am sure i'll be depressed because i won't have enough time to go and have fun.. well, sacrifices had to be made.. am sure i'll find some time to have fun! :p



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where is a better place then home..? no where.. when you are exhausted from work, you want to go home.. when you are pushed to your breaking point, you want to go home.. when you are sad, you want to go home.. home is where the heart is.. it is the most comfortable place for me.. to be me..

i am sorry i gave you hope..
i am sorry i pushed you to do something that may be you are not ready for..
lets just pretend that i had never said anything about marriage.. because i dont think i can do it.. i dont think that i am the right person for you.. i want things that are not easy to be fulfilled.. i want things the way i want it.. i want everything to be perfect no matter what and i dont want to be dissapointed.. so yeah.. i have decided to stick with my 'must list'..


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i love my babies..

i am having cramps and sore throat.. :(

my sweet mama packed breakfast for me..

ok.. i know its a bit burned.. but wth.. its the thoughts that counts right..? ^_^

i am still in the office at 9.00 pm during a friday night.. and i have to come to the office again tomorrow.. sigh~
i am having menses and migrain.. great!

i went to klcc during lunch hour and guess what i saw..?? habib jewels is having sale!! so for those lucky guy who wants to marry me, you can buy the engagememt ring there.. hehehe..

sometimes i wonder why do we have to go through all of the things that we had gone through.. is it because of the choices that we made in life or is it because god had written all of it for us..

i am not in good terms with my mom..? reason..? i don't know! she had been really quiet.. well, only towards me.. ever since she retired, she had been really difficult to talk to.. i wonder why.. isnt people suppost to be happier after they retire..? hmm.. can you imagine how dissapointed i am when i am looking forward to go home and tell her about this great idea that i have but when i get home all i get from her is the long face.. masam mencuka! it just killed my intention to tell her anything..

life does not go the way you want it to be.. all you can do is be strong and never stop believing in yourself!

SOME IDIOT STOLE MY CHANEL SHADES!!

damn u!!

its chanel pearl collection...

i am so angry and sad and huarrrgghhh!! i don't know how to explain what i am feeling right now... this is my second sunglasses that had been stolen.. my first sunglasses that was stolen was my gucci sunglasses... damn you thief!!

its almost a week since the last update! i was so caught up with work and so i have no time to blog... that is just sad...

everybody is in KL... not really everybody... i am just exaggerating! :p

adik, mak ijah, mak ani and aunty cha is in KL... i don't have the opportunity to bring them go jalan-jalan since i am working on weekdays... but i am planning to bring adik to Laundry since she wanted to go to a club but unfortunately i am broke... so Laundry would be good enough... no cover charge! hahahhaha... sorry adik... wrong timing la... next time come to KL early of the month otey...?

Isetan is having sale!!

the pre-sale was just awesome!!! i like it alot!! sale up to 70%!!!

can u imagine buying 3 clothes that will cost you around $600++ (normal price) but i just paid $100++ because they are on 70% discount...?! talk about value buy!! so worth it!! i am smiling from ear to ear... hehehehehe...

i am going to Cameron Highlands this weekend!! weee~ okey... i am over exited because i had never been there before... i am so looking forward for it... then i can take lotsa pictures of me with the backgrounds of the strawberry park, flower park, whatever park that they have... lol! must remind myself to charge my digi cam's battery!

i am sick and i am having nightmare!!

can u imagine how sick i am even my office mate asked me to go home and see the Doctor and let him finish my work...?? yes! that sick!

the dialog between the DR and i (please bear in your mind the DR is the type of DR that won't give you mc even if you cry for it)...

DR : yes...? what is your problem...?

me : i am having flu, cough and ulser...

DR : show me the ulser...

me : showed him the ulser

DR : starting to press here and there and asked me if i am feeling any pain...

me : i had been working from 9.00 am till 12.00 am daily for two weeks straight!

DR : plant design engineers (reading the writings on my shirt)

DR : you are an engineer... what to do...

me : -_-"

DR : your throat is infected...

DR : the ulser indicates that you are stress considering your working hours and your job...

me : can i get mc for tomorrow...? i don't think i can take it anymore...

DR : yes... of course...

yey!! so i am on mc today!! woot~

i remembered visiting the DR when i was having migraine and he told me "selagi you tak stroke, that means you can walk and you can go to work!" wtf right..? but yeah... at least i get my mc... i am sure the DR knows that i am not lying by looking at the dark circles around my eyes! ewww~ hate it!

the nightmare starts when i can't seem to sleep... my body is TERRIBLY tired but my eyes can't seem to close and fall asleep... sigh~ but when i fall asleep, i will be awake by nightmares of pipes and pipe racks!! seriously!! i think i've been awaken by the same nightmare about 3 to 4 times!

even tho i get mc, my mind is still at the office... is this what the DR said take your medication, sleep and relax...? i don't think so!

why can't they design all the pipes straight...?? straight up to the end and all at the same level...

i hate doing PlantLinx!! seriously!! even tho all the pipes at the pipe rack area looks simple because it looks straight, trust me when i say it is not simple! not at all! they have multiple levels (causes you to have nausea because of the gazillion point clouds) and it gets super irritating when they start joining with (god knows where they come from) other pipes! and it will make you faint when they start to route upwards or downwards or both! freaking annoying! and it feels like forever to finish modeling them!!

i am having flu, sore throat, cough and my body feels weak! i need a new job!

-_-"

***********************************************

i know what can cheer me up!

shopping!! woot~ (forgetting the fact that i can't really do any shopping like forever!)

i am really in need of a new purse! my Ferragamo purse is already torn apart! i don't really like Ferragamo now since the quality is not that good... how can the purse that cost thousand of ringgit get torn in less then a year when it is just kept in the handbag...?? ridiculous right...??

enough of that... lets go net shopping... not really buying something... just to pick out the perfect one for me! then we can head to the nearest boutique! weeeuuu~

Fendi

Louis Vuitton

Gucci

Dior

Chanel

Facebook is BLOCKED!!

how am i suppost to live without my Facebook...?? uwaaa... this is just cruel! so damn cruel! hahahaha... ok... i am being ridiculous... i can still access my Facebook account via my Iphone... but still... i can't open all the games that i played on Facebook!! grrr~ i will be too tired to access it at home... sigh~

anyways, work is getting on my nerves! we have a dateline... we are suppose to finish a certain amount of work in a day... unfortunately the server is getting crazier day by day... i can't even connect to the network server! then how am i suppose to finish my work...??

a little updates on my weekends activities :

friday night : attended Lip Lap Raya 2009 at my university in malacca

saturday : went to work until 12.00am then went to Laundry to join a few friends

sunday : went to izam's house for hari raya

and there goes my weekend... mostly at the office working...

my friend passed away today at 4.00pm.. his name was akram.. he was 23 years old.. he suffered from brain cancer for 3 years.. may his soul rest in peace.. amin..

life is short.. hopefully our life is long enough to help the people in need.. i hope my life will be long enough to take care of my mother, cats and my future family..

********************

you think your job sucks..?
you think your workload is unbearable..?
you think your working hours is too long..?
try working at my company.. lol!

we are forced to do overtime until 11.00 pm everyday!! i know we have to stay back longer then that expecially on weekends.. and we most probably have to come to work on sundays.. reason being..? we have to finish all the projects on the dateline given by hook or by crook!! there are 3 projects running at the moment.. and we have to complete all of it by this month! crazy or what..?

tired..
stress..
sore eyes..
back ache
you name it! sigh~

after we finish all of these projects, there will be another big project waiting for us.. no break i tell you! the boss said, he didnt bothered us during our raya leave so he wants us to commit 100% to our work.. can you imagine working from 9.00am to 12.00am..? everyday..? everyweek..? bleeergh.. hate it! but there is nothing much that we can do.. we can complain.. but we will still have to finish all of the works.. one thing for sure, if we refuse to follow his instructions, we will have problem with our salary increament.. huhu..

i was sitting at my workstation when i feel my body was shaking.. i thought my heart was palpating really fast that caused my body to shake.. a few seconds later the whole office was panicking because our office building was shaking.. the good thing is, we get to go home early because of this.. if it didnt happen we should probably had to stay at the office until 9.00 pm or later.. :p

volcano eruption in sumatera scaling more then 7.7 caused this massive panic all over kl.. luckily nobody got hurt..

fragile heart

even a simple hello can make it smile...

one wrong word can make it bleed...

i used to think whatever that i think won't hurt me won't hurt anybody else... but i was wrong... there are a lot of things that i had said that might hurt some other people's feeling... sometimes we just say whatever that we feel to the person that we are comfortable with but they cannot take it... why...? because they are just human with fragile heart... it is best to keep things to yourself... we might feel the burden to keep everything inside, but it is better then hurting some other people's feeling without realizing it...

i never thought a simple greeting card would make someone so happy... i remembered giving my managing director a Hari Raya's greeting card and he was so happy because he had never received a greeting card from any of his staff... in fact he had never received any greeting cards throughout his working years... i can see how his face lighted and how he smiled when he received it...

all these simple experience that i gain really touched my heart and made me realize how fragile we are as human beings... cherish every single thing like it is the last day of your life because we will never know when we will die...

stop and smell the roses because it might not be there the next time you walk by...

Stay in fashion year round without breaking the bank!

to those who LOVE designer handbags but cannot afford to buy them, check out this website! Bags in the City

it is a place where you can rent and even buy the handbag that you like at a lower price... and all of the bags that they provide are authentic... sounds good huh...?? you just have to rent the bag that you desire, then if you like it, you can purchase it straight away!

hmm... may be i should do the same thing to... rent out all the designer handbags that i have... lol!

new url yo! lol...

i had to restrict my blog readers because of a psycho guy...

and now i decided to change my url and my name! what a troublesome!

anyways, how do you guys like my new layout...? too dark...? no...?

i want to be one of malaysia's top bloggers! yeah right! inspired by Project Alpha... ;p

first day at work...

i am so lazy after enjoying my 1 week holiday with food and sleep...

i wish i could just stay at home and do whatever i wanted to do... its like a dream come true! phew~

this cat is so adorable!!

i wanna pinch it so hard!! hahahah...

i know i look fat in this picture...

talking about fat; i have an appointment with Mayfair on the 10th of October at 11.00 am... lets hope i don't forget about it! i am so looking forward to be slim and slender again... what a joke! hahahaha... well, like people used to say, nothing is impossible in life!

Happy Eid Mubarak to all muslims..

i know its a little bit late, i had been busy and lazy..

raya was ok.. not as joyful as it used to be.. why..? i have no idea.. i even ask my mom to come back to kl earlier because i was so bored..

i drove my less then a day car to singapore.. lol!

i had to bring him for servicing today because the mileage is already more then 1000 km.. i travelled that far in less then a week!!!

achuk is in kl..

he pee and shit all over the place..

he doesnt even want to clean himself up!!

bought him diapers..

he had been shouting for no reason..

hate it but i dont have any other choice for now..

sigh~

-- Post From My iPhone

damn u period pain!!


-- Post From My iPhone

hello people!!

good news!!

i loose 4kg!! woott~

my tummy is really bloated right now thanks to menses... no wonder i had been having stomach ache for the past 1 week... and no wonder my mood swings was REALLY bad!! heheheheh... anyways, i am really happy because i don't have to fast and i won't be in the angel's bad book for not fasting... lol!

speaking about fasting, we have only 5 days to go!! i am so excited! i am more excited because i'll be getting my car by this week... keeping my fingers cross... plz GOD!~ i've been waiting for 3 months... don't you think it is long enough to torture me...? sigh~

• can't wait for hari raya
• can't wait for my new car
• can't wait to go to beijing
• can't wait to buy a new house
• can't wait to get rid of useless people in my life
• can't wait to get married... oopppss! LOL!

my aunt texted me last week and asked me how much did i used my credit card and how much do i pay for it monthly... and i was like... what...?? i told her i paid 1k for my credit card monthly and sometimes more depending on my income... and she was like... that is too little... i tot u salary this and that... blablabla... like wtf..?!

• firstly, i really don't like it when people ask me about my income (it is my income and not yours... so please mind your own buisness)
• secondly, i really don't like it when people ask me what did i do with my money (i am not a kid anymore, i know how to manage my money!)
• thirdly, i hate it when people say "where did your money go...?? you spend your money on unnecessary things and later on your don't have money to pay for whatever3..." (like i said, i am not a kid anymore, i know what is my priority)

OMG! OMG! i tried a bed at harvey norman yesterday and it was the best bed EVER!! it is like a quick sand... it pulls your body... aaaahhhhh~ i would never want to wake up!! :D

unfortunately it is very expensive! but i bet it is really worth it! the normal price is RM26K... and the offer price is RM16K... i can't even afford it when it is on discount!! i hate myself!!

I WANT THAT BED SET!!!

i am emotionally wrecked!!!
i don't know why..
my emotional is unstable..
is it because i am so stressed out..?
or is it because i am too tired..?

i feel abandoned..
i feel lonely..
i feel like there is nobody that i can talk to..

my mom was saying this and that this evening..
and i just shouted my lungs out and closed my ears..
then i cried..
without any specific reason..
i don't know why i did that..

i just felt that i need to shout to get everything out of my heart..
but i didn't say anything..
i just shouted aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa...
like one spastic person!!!
sigh~
i think i am going crazy..

i think the responsibility and workloads that i have to do has taken the best of me..
i need a break!!

when i am around people, i feel ok..
still empty..
but when i am alone, i felt worst!
i felt that i am not worty of anything..
what is going on with me..?

i dont want to feel this way..
i am sad..



-- Post From My iPhone

going to beijing in january!!
winter time.. wooohooo~


-- Post From My iPhone

woke up at 12 am and went to office at 2.00 pm.. need to finish all the necessary documents for the proposal that need to be submitted on monday..

went out from office at 6.00 pm.. and wonders where to go for buka puasa..

look at my cute slippers.. love it! :D




i used mama's watch.. i need it to match my handbag.. actually i bought her the Fendi watch for her 55th birthday.. heheeh.. sharing is caring right..? :p




went buka puasa at Paradise Restaurant... seriously all the dishes are the best! expecially the black papper meat!
















-- Post From My iPhone

i am so FULL today!!
had nasi minyak with ayam masak merah, daging rendang, aca and papedem for buka puasa.. phew~ there goes my diet! lol! but hey, i think i've lost some weight during this fasting month because i noticed that my double chin is gone!! yey!! heheehe..

i've been craving for big apple donuts and i get to eat it yesterday and today i get to eat aunty anne's pretzels!! woohhooo~ satisfaction to the max! :D

here are some pictures of me enjoying my caramel almond pretzel.. nyum2x!!

i need to go to work tomorrow because there is a proposal to be submitted tomorrow.. i hate having to go to work on weekends! but yeah.. i cam earn some extra income by doing overtime..

talking about money, i am totally BROKE this month!! like really!! i had to pay my credit card, give mama money, save up some money and most importantly i have to pay ALL the house bills and it cost around $500.. sigh~ i didnt know it would cost that much.. i dont think i can save up some money when i get my car.. :(
i just hope that mama will stop telling people that i dont give her money because i've been giving her money since the 1st month i get my pay.. and now plus all the house bills and groceries..

-- Post From My iPhone

went home early today since i need to do my eyebrows...

did my eyebrows in bangsar then went buka puasa at Madam Kwan...

it is really paifull to do threading when your eyebrows are so bushy...

i will remind myself to do threading at least once a month... i can't bear the pain and redness... sigh~

i bought a new handphone!

a spare phone...

it is not really new handphone... i called it a new handphone since i just bought it today... lol!

it is a secondhand phone...

Motorola V3...

pink clour!

:D

i always wanted a flip phone... and now, i have one! yey!!

i'll be using 2 numbers from now on..

you guys can still contact me using the old number...

the handphone is still in a good condition...

bought it for rm200... so cheap right...? with new casing somemore!

so happy!

ramadhan day 2

went to midvalley..
had my hair done..
mama is happy because she gets to shop.. lol!

abducted by aliens..? no..?












kepala ku berasap! hahaha..


-- Post From My iPhone

ramadhan day 1

it is my first time making spring rolls.. it turned out quite good..




ice milo fuze never tasted better! lol..







mama cooked ayam masak kari..






banana as desert..






and both of my cats had to be 'prisoned' while we were breaking fast or they will join us as well.. :p

-- Post From My iPhone

Cyclone...

have you heard of this software...?

it is used in my company to register point clouds...

it is basically the site team's job but i have to help them with the registration thinggy as they need more source to get the thing going since there are alot of scans to be process...

while waiting for the scans to be uploaded in my computer (which takes ages!), i decided to blog since there are nothing much that i can do except waiting... lol!

below is the LV handbag that i purchased...

nice...?

no...?

i am not a big fan of LV's handbags.. but i guess one never hurts... :p

i am planning to buy one handbag from every single designer...

it would be like my own collection!

ok... i am excited!

i am a big spender... but who cares right...?

i want it, i buy it with my own money!

it would be a bonus if i get it for free of course... heehhehe...

currently i have :

1. Salvatore Ferragamo

2. Fendi

3. Louis Vuitton

and i am so gonna get one ridiculous over priced Versace handbag!

mind you Versace handbags are SUPER expensive!

but they are totally worth it!

aaaahhhhh~

pssst!

to whom that may corncern...

i dont mind getting one of these handbags as my birthday present...

:D

its name is Neverfull GM...

the product code is N51106...

its name is Neverfull GM...

the product code is M93701...

its name is Alma MM Roses

the product code is M93686

and as a bonus, that generous someone could buy for me a matching wallet as well... the one that i am interested in is M91998... go check it out! i can't find a decent photo of it... of any other LV's wallet would do... as long as it is long...

;)

burned..
i burned my finger..
it hurts so bad!
but it is getting better now after mama reiki it..

i made some curry puffs..
it tasted good..
but it looks horrible! lol!

someone told me to find the right partner in life, one should observe :
1. the way they treat u when you are happy
2. the way they treat u when you are sad
3. the way they treat u when you are angry
4. the way they treat u when you are sick
5. the way they treat u when you are in trouble

and the most important part would be,

6. the way they treat u when you are just being yourself!

it is important to know if that certain person can accept u for who u are and not for who they think u should be..

i don't know why i wrote that..
i am not happy!
i am not happy with u!
yes! u!
i know that i am not as sweet and loving and caring as they are..
and i know that i have a very bad temper that often make me say things that i should have not said.. but thats me!
i cannot help it..
i am just being me..
yes! the self absorb smug bitchy selfish lazy indenial tempremental girl!

when i asked, what are the things that makes them better then me..?
and u can simply answer it as easy as A B C..

but when i asked, what are the things that makes me better then them..?
u can't answer it!
u had to think!
u had to force urself to answer my question and it took like 15 mins before u answer it..
why..?

i feel..............
and u kept saying that i dont know how to appriciate..
i treated u like a 'kain buruk'...

well, it is true..
it is hard for people to see and realize their own
mistake..

may be it is just me....



-- Post From My iPhone

i went out from home because i am so pissed off with mama!
she is so, shall i say obsessed and over protective over cupcake..
adik this..
adik that..
like wtf..??
what made me really mad tonight was because of her 'couldnt care-less' attitude towards baby..
she was spraying sheiltox in my room and when she finishes, she carried cupcake out of the room and shut my bedroom door closed..
and i was like, where is baby..???
and she said.. how should i know, everything also i need to know.. padahal she is the one who kept on shouting asking baby to get out of the room..
and when i opened the door, there is my little cat INSIDE my fucking room with the fucking door closed full with the fucking dangerous sheltox to inhale!
i am so mad!
so so mad!
why she have to push baby aside and give her full attention to cupcake..??
he is cat!
not a freaking doll!!

now i dont have to wonder why she has only one child!


-- Post From My iPhone

i am having toothache!

it is REALLY painful!

i can't even sleep last night...

i cried...

it hurts so bad!

went to see the dentist and the dentist said my wisdom tooth need to be extracted since the lubang is very deep... but it cannot be removed today because my gum is swollen... so the dentist gave me antibiotic and painkiller... then i need to see the dentist again to remove my wisdom tooth once the antibiotic is finished...

i am so afraid of dentist! expecially thinking of the dentist removing my tooth!

GOD!

please help me go through this!

:((

enough of sad thoughts..

my mom bought me a vaio laptop!

weeee~

i am so happy with it eventho i am not very keen with the vista system...

complete with the pink wireless mouse as well...

so so happy!

:D

being with you makes me feel loved..
i can feel it but it is hard for me to show it..
i want to tell you but i just can't..
it is not because you are not good enough..
it is not because there is no love..
it is just because i don't want to hurt you more..

you and me..
i used to love you with all of my heart..
but i am not sure if i feel the same way now..
how am i suppost to tell you..?
i am so affraid to upset you..
i am so affraid to break your heart..
i am not strong enough..
i am not selfish enough to just think of myself..
this shows that i care for you..
it shows that there is still love..
can i ammend it..?
do i want to ammend it..?
is it worth it..?

all the experiences that i had gone through made me afraid to say those three words..
i want to feel the warmth of love again..
but i am too afraid..
i am too fragile..
i am too weak..
i had blocked my heart from letting it in again..

i am sorry..


-- Post From My iPhone

i am having flu and cough!
hate it!
had been snorting and coughing nonstop!
sampai my officemates ask me to go home..
unfortunately it is hard to get mc.. sigh~

i found a website that sells branded goods at LOW price! seriously! original goods! well, at least that is what the owner of the website says.. lol!
anyways, i am purchasing a handbag from the website to make sure that the goods that they are selling is genuin and not fake! if i am not happy with the goods, i can just simply return the goods and they will give my money back! sounds great right..?
they have TONS of Christian Loboutin shoes! omg! i am so going crazy! hahaha.. if it is true that the goods that they are selling is original, i'll be buying a pair of shoes every month! :D

i am so in love with handbags and shoes!


-- Post From My iPhone

empty..
that is most likely what i am feeling right now..
why..?
i have no idea..
i feel like i am wasting my youth by being so hooked up with my work everyday..
well.. there is nothing much that we can say about that because work is a must..
but being so 'drown' in work makes me fell suffocated..
no fun..
what u get from work is just;
stress
backache
sore eyes
headache
and the never ending piled up works to do..
i want something more..
something that i can come back to and actually be excited about..
hangging out with friends..?
eeerrmmm...
no!
night life!
yes!
hehehehe..
okey.. label me the night butterfly or whatever that u want..
it is the only thing that i am actually looking forward to every weekend..
it is like a detour..
spend some money..
yes..
but u'll have fun as well..
youth..
what do u get from it..?
maximum energy and enthuses!
makes u wanna do something exciting..
and the thing that makes me excited is unfortunately my night life..
it had been months..
more then 6 months..
i missed it!
i truely do..
its not that i am expecting to go to clubs every weekends..
no..
just once a month..
or may be twice if i am lucky..
lol!
but yeah..
i missed it a lot..
i used to dressed up in nice dresses..
wear all those make ups and shiny lipgloss..
wear my deadly gorgeous heels..
and meet up with some friends and have some good time!
but now..?
i don't even know where to dress up to..
sad..
i need a new bunch of friends..
that can spice up my life a bit..
i don't want my youth to be flush down the drain just by going to work every single day without having some fun and nothing to cherish in my old age besides my work!.
sigh..

i love to dance..

signed,
night butterfly

it had been 3 days but my health is not showing any improvement..

1. fever
2. flu
3. slight couging
4. stomach pain
5. headache
6. puking

is it H1N1..?
hopefully no..
:(

warning!

don't puke!

i had been using kinohimitsu for detoxing... the thing that you stick on your sole and it absorps toxin in your body...

and here are the reults...

Day 1

Day 2

Day 3

disgusting...?? yeah! lol!

A toxin (Greek: τοξικόν, toxikon) is a poisonous substance produced by living cells or organisms.^[1][2](Although technically man is a living organism, man-made substances created by artificial processes usually aren't considered toxins by this definition.)

For a toxic substance not produced by living organisms, "toxicant" is the more appropriate term, and "toxics" is an acceptable plural.

Toxins can be small molecules, peptides, or proteins that are capable of causing disease on contact with or absorption by body tissues interacting with biological macromolecules such as enzymes or cellular receptors. Toxins vary greatly in their severity, ranging from usually minor and acute (as in a bee sting) to almost immediately deadly (as in botulinum toxin). By Wikipedia...

i have to keep using it for 2 weeks straight since this is the first time i am using it... i don't know if it really works... one thing for sure, it is expensive... -_-"