i just finish watching over my dead body... sad ending... i can never imagine letting go of the person i love to someone else eventhough thats the thing that will make them happy... i am being selfish.. i know that but god.. the pain.. i cannot bare the pain of losing that someone to somebody else...

ok.. lets get back to reality... i was called by mr sabri yesterday... we discussed about my job at PDE and yeah.. i got the job.. the basic that they are offering is not high but i can survive with it i guess... hahahha... the most important thing is the experience that i will gain here... so alya, welcome to PDE!!! lol...

went shopping yesterday... bought a top and shorts from MNG... it is super nice!! and i need to lose some more weight!! -_- fat ass!!! hahahha... and and i'm sooo in loooooveee with the versace for men smell... like really!! ahhhh~ lol...

omg!!! i am super sleepy right now.. like really2!! and its only 3.00 pm... another 3 hours to go~ aaaaa... ok.. since i am in the office, lets talk bout work.. hahahhah.. i know it is such a boring topic but thats the only thing that i can think about right now... i am still waiting for my access card and offer letter... they are like damn slow la kan!!!!!

hmm.. let me introduce to you guys what i'll be doing for the rest of my life at PDE... like i'm working here forever~ lol.. -_-"

i'll be modelling pipes, structures, equipments and more pipes by using PlantLINx.. in case you are wondering, PlantLINx is the software that they use to model all those thinggy.. we have to model the 'thing' based on the point cloud... point cloud is like a mold.. we have to model those things inside the point cloud.. i think the reason they called it point cloud is because they are actually small dots and its like 'floating'... hahhahha... wtf!! ok.. may be after you see some pics, you'll have some hints of what exactly i'm talking about...

no.. i didnt model all of that... a group of modellers model all those little things.. if i were to do it alone, may be i'll need half year or may be a year to complete it... ;p or may be 2 years... hahhaah... and i'll probably be puking blood... seriously... -_-

since mama is going to spore next week, i think i have to increase my alarm tone to the max volume or i'll be late for work every single day... i'm such a baby.. mama had been helping me dress up, change my handbags, pick the right clothes like everyday... hehehh... i need to shop for more clothes + pants + skirts coz i dont have enough office ware...

went for a ride on eye on malaysia... it was fun!! but not thrilling coz its like super slow~ hehehhe... thanks ajoy!! i really had some great times!! and thanks a lot for entertaining my fucking crazy + irritating attitute... hahahha... and and my face looks super ugly in those pics!!!!!!

i should stop here.. need to find something to eat or i will die soon...

god's creation... the parrot flower...

weekeends~

great weekend!! went out to have some fun... meet new friends but i can't even recall their names.. hehhe... i really2 need to stop drinking and control myself or more unexpected things will happen... damn... i really miss going to the club with all of my girlfriends... girls night out.. no guys.. no worries..

mama is going to singapore on the 5th... hmm~ lets think about all the fun i could have... hahahahha... ok.. i am just kidding.. its weekdays.. and i have to go to work... and yeah.. i'm a working girl now.. like really!! i can't believe the lazy alya is actually working.. but i havent receive the offer letter yet.. i hope i am not wasting my time at PDE for nothing... i want the access card!! grr~

everybody seems very busy...

life had been pretty hectic...

people don't really give any attention to me...

hello!! i am here~ -_-"

i am pathetic!! i want all the attention in this world.. punch me!! no.. kiss me plz.. heheheh...

send someone to love me~

i need to rest in arms~

keep me safe from harm~

i will grow through this pain~

I MISS YOU!!!

today is such a great day coz i've finally pass my plantlinx test.. thanks to both of my sifu.. hehhehe... big hug for both of u!! somehow i feel empty like there is something missing.. i know what is missing but i just don't want to admit it...

sometimes letting go is the best thing to do even though it is the most painfull thing to do...

god!! this is why i hate love stories.. it will always end up with tears.. why is there no happy ending like all the fairytales stories that we used to read when we were kids...??? we should go with someone who makes us happy right...?? but there is no one in this whole wide world who can make us happy every single day.. thats life and we have to live with it...

i need to wake up to reality!!!

my head is about to explode.. hahaha.. i'm exaggerating..

i didnt go to work today.. i really need moral boost.. a...

we are bestfriends again!!! yey!!! i love you faty!!! if i have to choose between my bestfriend and my bf, who will i choose...??? hmm~ it is such a difficult choice.. can i have both...?? hehhe.. of course i'll choose my bestfriend coz i've known her long before i know him..

and yet again faty forgot to bring back my barbie doll and bracelet.. grr~

ok, if i don't get the job at PDE, i'll go to singapore.. i wanna go to hammy's bday bash!!

i am very depress today!!! like really2 la... thanks to the plantlinx test.. i am such a loser!!!!! grrr~

my cough is getting worst!! hate it!!

my mom keep asking me to fill up the petronas form..

my mom said "i told u to give me your resume but you are so hard headed!! now you have to deal with all of this at work.." after i told her what happened at work today.. i cried.. hahha.. she was super mad that someone made me cry.. my mom really do loves me.. lol..

HAPPY BIRTHDAY YUNUS!!!!!!!!

i am such a bitch!! i hate myself!! i lost a bestfriend today because of my selfishness.. if i could turn back time, i'll make it right.. my tears rolled down the time you text me saying this friendship is over.. u want me to get out of ur life.. i deserve that eventhough it is not me who send those harsh msges to u.. god.. kill me!! yes.. i know it is my fault.. it is all my fault!! i'm literally pushing all off my friends because of 'him'!! people may say i am so stupid that i'm still with 'him' despite of all the things that he had done.. i dont know what to do.. i am so insecure and letting go is the hardest thing for me to do.. my dear friend, i beg for ur forgiveness.. plz forgive me!! i am so ashamed that i cant get myself to call or even text u to apologise.. today u made me realised something... something that i won't forget for the rest of my life~

the pictures pretty much sum up my saturday.. baby sitting.. hahha.. not really la.. i went out with kak nurul and her son.. i thought him how to read.. he is super adorable!! and he loves cars.. he'll go... "car..." "car..." and run straight to the car.. hahha...

god.. i can't stop blamming myself!!!!!

men and women~

men

1. all men are extremely busy
2. although they are so busy, they still have time for women
3. although they have time for women, they don't really care for them
4. although they don't really care for them, they always have 1 around
5. although they always have 1 around them, they always try their luck with others
6. although they try their luck with others, they get really pissed off if the woman leaves them
7. although the woman leaves them, they still don't learn from their mistakes and still try their luck with others

women

1. the most important thing for a woman is financial security
2. although this is so important, they still go out and buy expensive clothes and stuff
3. although they always buy expensive clothes, they never have something to wear
4. although they don't have something to wear, they always dress beautifully
5. although they always dress beautifully, their clothes are always just 'an old rag'
6. although their clothes are always just 'an old rag', they still expect u to comliment them
7. although they expect u to compliment them, when u do, they don't believe u

i really2 dearly miss all those good old times... i miss them!!!!!!!!!! i miss my friends!!!!!!! god~ i really wanna meet them... its been like a year since the last time we meet... aaa... i'm being emo... =(

training is going well.. my colleagues are great... they are very helpfull and nice...

bestie is coming back this saturday!!!!!! yey!!!!! miss her soooo much!!!!

honestly, my life had been boring.. there is nothing much happening, that is why i dunno what to blog.. my daily routine would be work, home, online, sleep and work again... gah..

lets take a look at PDE...

messy huh... hahhaha... i guess they are too busy to even clean up their work space...

i've improve my knowledge on how to model all those thinggy.. i'm doing quite good but i still need more practice expecially on how to rotate those stupid things... grrr~ like super irritating la this 3D thing.. i've learned how to model structure, equipments and pipes.. that is the basic things... if you are good at it then you are ready to go.. huhu.. i hope my test would be easy...

i need more clothes!!!

i need more pants!!!

i need more jeans!!!

hehheh... i know my closet is overflowing with clothes but i still feels like i dont have any clothes.. i wonder why... hmm~ and yeah.. i need more shoes too.. ;p mama said she'll pack all my clothes and give them to charity since i kept mumbling that i don't have any clothes to wear..

the love between them~

this week had been a tiring week mainly coz i've started my training at Plant Design Engineers... it is quite hard to learn how to use the software.. like i really need to know the functions of each buttons and how to model the thinggy... gah.. i just hope i'll be ready for the test after the training period is over.. and yeah.. i went to the office yesterday until 6 pm.. hardworking..??? the new alya...??? hahahhaha... so not me.. ;p

i am going to be 22 years old and i am still like this.. look at me.. i only have a diploma, i am not employed and i am still acting like a 17 years old girl.. or may be 7 years old girl.. hahha.. i really need to change; i need to be more mature and more responsible.. i doubt i can do that.. -_-"

• It hurts to love someone and not be loved in return, but what is more painful is to love someone and never find the courage to let that person know how you feel
  
  
• A sad thing in life is when you meet someone who means a lot to you, only to find out in the end that it was never meant to be and you just have to let go
  
  
• The best kind of friend is the kind you can sit on a porch swing with, never say a word, and then walk away feeling like it was the best conversation you've ever had
  
  
• It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives
  
  
• It takes only a minute to get a crush on someone, an hour to like someone, and a day to love someone but it takes a lifetime to forget someone
  
  
• Don't go for looks; they can deceive. Don't go for wealth; even that fades away. Go for someone who makes you smile because it takes only a smile to make a dark day seem bright
  
  
• Dream what you want to dream; go where you want to go; be what you want to be, because you have only one life and one chance to do all the things you want to do
  
  
• Always put yourself in the other's shoes. If you feel that it hurts you,it probably hurts the person too
  
  
• A careless word may kindle strife; a cruel word may wreck a life; a timely word may level stress; a loving word may heal and bless
  
  
• The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything, they just make the most of everything that comes along their way
  
  
• Love begins with a smile, grows with a kiss, ends with a tear. When you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was smiling. Live your life so that when you die, you're the one smiling and everyone around you is crying

i was so damn nervous about the interview that i can't even sleep last night...

went for the interview at 9.00 am.. fill in the forms.. waited in the meeting room for about half an hour.. then mr.nagesh came in.. he is an indian guy from india.. seriously its hard to understand what he is saying expecially when he chayayaly speaks very fast.. i was like... "i'm sorry...??" hahhaha..

the funny part was... he asked me to draw P&ID.. i was super nervous that i went blank.. i draw a bit then i stop... then he said something.. seriously i don't know what he was talking about.. then he draw something.. and i was like..."oh......valve....." hahahahahha... all the time he was saying 'valve' but i can't understand his accent... he must thing i am such a bimbo... i am not!!! i just cannot understand what you are saying ok.. -_-"

i'm gonna start my on job training tomorrow.. they'll gv me 1 week training.. they'll monitor my progress then if everything is fine, they'll give me an offer letter to work there... god.. plz let everything be easy and perfect for me... =)

i just can't wait for tomorrow!!! super excited!! hehehehe...

seriously i had enough of those naggings...

you want everything to be the way you want it to be..

you want me to continue my studies but at the same time you want me to work.. so that you can tell people how great your daughter is izit...???

you said you got a job offer in dubai... i think you better go... it is for the best.. you won't be angry at me and i won't be annoyed at you... fair enough..


------------------------------------------------------------

i am going for a job interview this thursady... which is tomorrow...

i want to continue my studies so badly but i just cannot stand all those painfull words... so i decided i should stop depending on you and start making my own way... you wanna find a job for me after i said i already got an interview... i know u have lots of 'important connections' but i need to do this on my own.. i dont want to look back and hear u say i should be thankful coz u find me a job..

for once in my life i want to be independent...

okey.. enough of those emo entries... i am seriously nervous for tomorrow's interview!! like seriously la... i need to dig up all those old diploma books and study!! alya...??? study...??? hahaha... ok.. i'm exaggerating.. i don't really study.. i just dig up those books to flip it through.. konon2 boleh ingat la ape blaja dulu.. -_-"

there is nothing wrong interacting with your pet.. you are so cute la my baby.. =)

lets get to know me a lil bit better.. if u are interested of course... hahah..

Name 7 things that must always be in your bag :
- handphone
- purse
- car keys
- house keys
- camera
- lotion
- ciggy

Name 3 things you do when you're really stressed:
- shopping!!!
- cry
- throw things ;p

Name 5 favorite fruits:
- apple
- grape
- manggo
- banana
- pear

Name 3 things you are wearing right now:
- undergarments
- bugs bunny shirt
- sleeping pants

What are you thinking about right now?
- study!! job!! aaaaaaaa.........

Where is your phone?
- right in front of me =)

Where do you sleep?
- on my bed la of course... duh..

Where did you get the shirt you're wearing?
- someone gave it to me... love it!! super cute sampai adeq nak curik!! ;p

What kind of cell phone service do you have?
- maxis.. the best in malaysia... hahaha...

What is the closest item near you that is white?
- a piece of paper

What is the last movie you watched?
- 27 dresses



::::: THE STRANGE ELEVEN ::::

Eleven odd facts about yourself:

1. Are you photo addict?
- hmm.. depends... hehheh...

2. What were you doing this morning at 8am?
- i was sleeping... wah.. syiok man...

3. Do you care for your friendster?
- my friend or friendster...???

4. How many different beverages have you drank since yesterday?
- milo
- nescafe
- plain water.. hahahah... thats all...

5. What are three things you wish to change about yourself?
- my height
- my cutting + weight
- my eyes

6. What do you wish for?
- i wish.......... i am not telling u guys what i'm wishing for... secret uh... ;p

7. When was the last time you got really hurt?
- i can't remember..

8. Any plans for tonight?
- its already 1.00 am.. u should ask me my plans for tomorrow..

9. Something you are excited about?
- i'm not excited bout anything... i'm just nervous for something.. i hope everything will be fine...

10 . What is your favorite flavor ice cream?
- chocolate
- vanilla
- corn

capital L for alya!!! hahhaha...

i was so wasted last night that i shall call myself a loser... lol...


i wanna talk about open relationship...

An open relationship denotes a relationship (usually between two people) in which participants are free to take other partners; if the couple making this agreement are married, it is an open marriage. While "open relationship" is sometimes used as a synonym for "polyamory" or "polyamorous relationship", these terms are generally differentiated. The "open" in "open relationship" usually refers to the sexual aspect of a non-closed relationship, whereas "polyamory" refers to the extension of a relationship by allowing bonds to form (which may be sexual or otherwise) as additional long term relationships:

• Some relationships place strict restrictions on partners (e.g. polyfidelity); such relationships are polyamorous, but not open.
• Some relationships permit sex outside the primary relationship, but not love (e.g. swinging); such relationships are open, but not polyamorous.
• Some polyamorists consider 'polyamory' to be their philosophical orientation — they believe themselves capable and desirous of multiple loves — whereas 'open relationship' is used as a logistical description: that is, it is how their polyamory is expressed or implemented. They would say of themselves, for instance, "I am polyamorous; my primary partner and I have an open relationship (with the following ground rules)...."

my friend and i had been talking bout open relationships as she is having an open relationship.. it sounds cool but i bet it is hard for someone who is insecure and a jealous freak to cope with this kind of relationship.. to me, i'm okey if my boyfriend wanna do 'anything' as long as i can do the exact same thing that he does... fair enough.. hehehhe... but some things should remain as secret~ ;p

mix emotions.. hahha..

i like the backgrounds in those pics... thanks to the photographer.. ;p

yesterday was great..

meet up with boyfriend... went to his house.. his mom insisted me to come inside and eat dinner... i guess his mom misses me.. coz she kept asking my boyfriend's sister "is abang still with kak sheikha...?" yeah.. his family calls me sheikha... but they pronounce it as 'seha'.. -_-"

we had dinner, played with his baby sister then we went to the nearest shopping mall to buy me a new hp... yey!! i wanted nokia n76 but the chinese guy adviced me not to buy the phone coz it is an old model + the phone cepat rosak.. coz its a flip phone.. he kept mumbling blablabla... like i'm listening... so i bought nokia 6500 instead... its a slide phone.. quite cool.. but i'm not happy coz i want a flip phone!!! nyah!!!

boyfriend gave me 2 options.. i have to choose between this phone or samsung slide phone.. the samsung phone is quite nice.. very feminine.. i choose this phone.. coz its nokia.. easy.. good software + will still have high value if i wanna trade it in..

somehow it made me feel empty~

regrets...

you are fooling around with my feelings~

i know you don't mean it or you don't even notice it... but thats the fact!!

alya... come back to reality!! its ur fault!!

my hp is ok... but i dunno for how long... i hope it'll be in good condition until i trade it in...

i wanna buy nokia n76... i want a flip phone.. it looks cool... hahha..

i want to go to s'pore since there is nothing much that i can do here...

i think i'll go to s'pore end of this month... or may be early next month.. coz my best friend is coming back end of this month.. i miss her sooo much!!! there are lots of stories that i wanna share with her.. i really need you back here my dear friend... ='(

i went to bangsar to join selicia's farewell party... most of the management staffs were there... we had some drinks at La Bodega Tapas then we headed to Madam Kwan for dinner... selicia is tryin to cover her red face.. hahhah... the redness is due to drinking not blushing or cryin ok.. hehheh...

i dont know what to write.. so just enjoy the photos aites... i look fat!! damn it!! i'm bloated coz of menses... ;p

argh... i hate this time of the month!!! period pain!! its killing me!! like really la.. i can't sleep... i cannot move... i cannot eat... why is it so hard to be a woman...??? we have to suffer all the burden and pain... monthly period pain... giving birth pain... pain.. pain.. pain.. and yet women are the majority population of hell.. its not fair!!

my hp is DEAD!! it malfunction exactly after i said i'm gonna get myself a new hp this month... my hp merajok with me izit...?? lol.. i need a new one asap... i told my mom bout it and she said... padan muka!! nyah.. there goes my new hp... -_-