at last i have the time to update my blog... been really busy with work since the project's due date is coming up... everything is normal between me and mama... hopefully it will last forever... and i really mean it because i am so annoyed receiving text messages from dear aunties regarding how i am such a bad daughter and how bad i have been treating my mom and what i should do to change... i know they are conrcern about my mom's heart condition; but still, they cannot just attack me with all those words without knowing what exactly is happening in my life.. a beloved aunt of mine said that i am a bohsia because i drink everyweek... like wtf...?! does she really know what is the definition of a 'bohsia'...?? -_- and so i replied by saying i am tired of defending and explaining myself... and i hope she will stop saying and assuming things that she doesnt really know... and i was reffering to my social life... i cant remember the last time i went to club and i dont drink everyweek... fullstop!

i want to share this with my readers... beautifully written by ali...

Sometimes, in our relentless efforts to find the person we LoVe, we fail to recognize & appreciate the people who LoVe us.

We miss out on so many beautiful things & simply because we allow ourselves to been slaved by our own selfish concerns.
Go for the man of deeds & not for the man of words for you will find rewarding happiness not with the man you LoVe but the man who LoVes you more.

The best LoVers are those who are capable of LoVing from a distance, far enough to allow the other person to grow, but never too far to feel the
LoVe deep within your being.

To let go of someone doesn't mean you have to stop LoVing, it only means that you allow that person to find his own happiness without expecting him to come back.
Letting go is not just setting the other person free, but it is also setting yourself free from all bitterness, hatred, & anger that keep in your heart.
Do not let the bitterness rare away your strength & weaken your faith & never allow pain to dishearten you, but rather let you grow with wisdom in bearing it.

You may found peace in just LoVing someone from a distance not expecting anything in return.
But be careful, for this can sustain life but can never give enough room for us to grow.
We can all survive with just beautiful memories of the past but real peace & happiness come only with open acceptance of what reality is today.

There comes a time in our lives when we chance upon someone so nice & beautiful and we just find ourselves getting so intensely attracted to that person.
This feeling soon become a part of our everyday lives & eventually consumes our thoughts & actions

The sad part of it is when we begin to realize that this person feels nothing more for us than just a friendship.
We start our desperate attempt to get noticed & be closer but in the end our efforts are still unrewarded & we end up being sorry for ourselves.
You don't have to forget someone you LoVe. 
What you need to learn is how to accept the verdict of reality without being bitter or sorry for yourself.

Believe me; you would be better off giving that dedication & LoVe to someone more deserving.
Don't let your heart run your life, be sensible & let your mind speak for itself.
Listen not only to your feelings but to reason as well.
Always remember that if you lose someone today, it means that someone better is coming tomorrow:

If you lose LoVe that doesn't mean that you failed in LoVe.
Cry, if you have to, but make it sure that the tears wash away the hurt & the bitterness that the past has left with you.
Let go of yesterday & LoVe will find its way back to you & when it does, pray that it may be the LoVe that will stay & last a lifetime.

You do not LoVe a Woman because she is Beautiful...
She is Beautiful because you LoVe her...

went out with izam and her baby sis today... we had a great time and some of my fats were burn... lol... thanks to na... btw, thats what we call her baby sis... 'na'... she refuses to hold my hand in the mall and so i bought her a sponge bob pillow, 2 shirts and 2 pants... and she loves it... how did i know...?? simple! she started holding my hands... running here and there and then runs towards me, hug me and kissed me... she is so adorable... and she calls sponge bob - bobo... lol...

i am stress out!!

why...??

because mimi is getting engaged..

WHY...??

because we are in the same age and he is getting engaged soon whilst i still dont know who is mr right... how pathetic is that...?? and mama is talking about double wedding... like wtf..?! i dont think i am ready for all of that... am i afraid of commitment...?? no.. i dont think so.. but may be... no... the answer is no because my only problem is finding the right guy for me... gosh!! i really feel old!! thanks mimi!!  -_-"

i had always plan to work and keep as much money as i can.. buy properties... get my degree.. then only i will get married... because getting married before everything is ready is not a good idea to me because couples tend to quarrelled over money and i dont want that to happen... i am a paranoid... dont blame me... blame my surroundings... sigh~

i still dont know what i want... mimi told me that we will know what we want when we get it... hummpphh... i hope i wont be too old when i know it.. lol... and some people said that i have to change my attitude..  but whats the point of changing for something else... is it worth it..?? it really depends... okeyy... i dont know wth i am mumbling...

the bottom line is, i feel like i have to find someone to be my life partner... mr right!! yes!! i dont want any guy... i want that someone who can make me feel complete.. aaahhh... that would be a really great feeling..  :")  i hope i will find that someone soon... it is one of my new year resolution... nyahahah...

work had been tiring... i need to have some fun but unfortunately i dont think i can do that because i received a text msg from mak ani this morning regarding my mom.. she forwarded my mom's msg to her.. mama told her that her heart condition is not good... it makes her hard too sleep... and she thinks that i am killing her slowly...

i am a terrible daughter...

what can i do...?

change...?

i think so... i hope i can do it... but... it will be really hard... 

btw, if you are thinking what did i do, its because i slept at my friends house for 2 days... yes... just because of that..

its been months since the last time i went clubbing...

i miss those good old times...

=)