weekends!! woottt!!

i baked; baked maccaroni!!

weeee~

it was my first trial without using any recepies... i am such a good cook!! hahahahahah...

and it is delicious!! seriously... the only problem was i don't have enough beef and chesse... overall its yummy!! =)

i am starting to love cooking...

and so julian asked me to organised a farewall aka birthday party for adib and nik... i ordered 8 large pizzas, 30 pieces of chicken wings, 24 pieces chesse stick and cut fries... and i spend around rm311 for the foods... not bad uh... if he had told me earlier i would have organised a superb party!! lol...

i am so stressed up since i have to rework every single platform's drawings; no thanks to the %#@*^ project manager!! PDE should just fire you!! it is harder to redo the drawings rather than completing the whole drawing from scratch... i hate working with unorganised people!! i feel like a complete idiot doing something then you rotate it again and we have to correct everything again!! all the stupid annotation is making me nuts!!! seriously!! i need to party!! but i can't seem to drink alot nowadays... hurmm... i wonder why... plus i hate hang overs~ -_-

• mama is in singapore...
• i cooked udang masak sambal, ikan bilis sambal and kobis masak lemak yesterday...
• it took me a freaking 1 hour plus to finish cooking all the dishes...
• my dishes are delicious!! except for the kobis masak lemak...
• i just love to brag... lol...
• planning to make baked maccaroni today...
• forgot to take pictures of the dishes that i cooked since i was hungry... :p
• the nosy uncle guard passed away because of stroke...
• gonna buy baby lotsa2 science plan can food
• baby puked on mama's rug yeterday
• and i threw the rug away... =)

• reached home
• played with my baby cat
• mama was watching tv
• joined mama in the living room
• hugged her

mama : why...??

alya : nothing...

mama : there must be something that you want to tell me...

alya : no... nothing...

mama : come on... i know you...

alya : nothing...

mama : are you pregnant...??

alya : hahahha... funny!!

mama : then...??

alya : nothing... (felt like crying but i stopped myself from crying...)

mama : you want money...?? how much...??

alya : no...

silence... keep watching tv...

i have an imaginary friend... seriously... scary...?? pathetic...?? say all you want but hurmmm... thats the only person that i can talk to right now... i cried just now... in the office... at my place... why...?? i don't know... i just feel like there is nobody that can understand me and it hurts so much when i'm being ignored... i'm the only child... so i am so used to get all the attention and love and my mom does everything for me... so when i am given this small responsibility and i can't get it right, i feel like such a loser.. nah... it has nothing to do with work... its about my life... and i miss my mom so much right now... i feel like hugging her and cry in her arms... i have nothing to tell her... i just need that motherly comfort arms right now...

and and i am crying right now...

i hate it!!

i am so weak!!

i should grow up!!

i just can't accept it when someone scold me!!

expecially if that scolding is from someone who is close to me...

sigh~

i need to go...

I HATE MY LIFE!!

EVERYTHING SEEMS TO ANNOYED ME!!

JUST FUCKING IGNORE ME!!

I WANNA CRY!!

BYE!!

new face...

new look...

new blog skin...

new hair do...

and yeah... i've cut my hair!! yey!! not my entire hair... just my fringe... i've always wanted a fringe... =)

i am feeling empty...

really really empty...

i cried the other day because i am so depressed...

chatted with azmi this morning... i told him that i feel empty despite of all the attention that i get and he said its because i don't know what i want... yeah... i think its true... i don't know what i want... and i am still searching for it... and he said that we'll know what we want once we get it... i hope that i'll find it soon...

enough of depressing thoughts... i can't wait to buy sony ericsson X1!! weee~ the phone is just soooo irresistable!! it feels like forever to wait for it to be launched... X1 will be launched in december... i guess i will be buying it for myself as a birthday gift... unless if there is anyone who is volunteering to buy for me... hahahhah...

A little boy asked his mother, “Why are you crying?”

“Because I’m a woman,” she told him.

“I don’t understand,” he said.

His Mom just hugged him and said, “And you never will.”

Later the little boy asked his father, “Why does mother seem to cry for no reason?”

“All women cry for no reason,” was all his dad could say.

The little boy grew up and became a man, still wondering why women cry.Finally he put in a call to God. When God got on the phone, he asked, “God, why do women cry so easily?”

God said:”When I made the woman she had to be special. I made her shoulders strong enough to carry the weight of the world, yet gentle enough to give comfort.I gave her an inner strength to endure childbirth and the rejection that many times comes from her children.I gave her a hardness that allows her to keep going when everyone else gives up, and take care of her family through sickness and fatigue without complaining.I gave her the sensitivity to love her children under any and all circumstances, even when her child has hurt her very badly.I gave her strength to carry her husband through his faults and fashioned her from his rib to protect his heart.I gave her wisdom to know that a good husband never hurts his wife, but sometimes tests her strengths and her resolve to stand beside him unfalteringly.And finally, I gave her a tear to shed. This is hers exclusively to use whenever it is needed.”

"You see my son,” said God, “the beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair. The beauty of a woman must be seen in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart - the place where love resides.”

its 5.30 am and i am still in the office... on a saturday night or morning... like wtf right...?? i can't believe i am this workaholic... or maybe someone draged me to do more overtimes... hahhahahah... nah... i decided not to come on saturday; and so i tried to finish all my work on friday and unfortunately i failed to complete it... shhhesshh~ this is why i hate working life!! working life = no life!!

anyways, look at the dummy workers... siap ada kening lagi... ahahhahahah...

my horoscope :

You have been attracting flighty people lately -- and while it's been fun, it has also been fairly frustrating. So today it will do you well to take a break from people who always seem to cancel on you at the last minute. Call up one or two of the people who you know you can always count on and find out when you guys can get together next. You don't have to cut your ties with the people who are driving you nuts right now, either. Variety is the spice of life, and of friendships!

so so so super true!!

okey, i just don't know what else to update... toodles...

Question :

what does the girl feels when the boy suddenly changed his mood when the girl refuses to sleep with him...?? she travelled all the way just to suprised him for his birthday then she gets that certain reaction after a couple of drinks... she says that she needs to go home since she is working tomorrow morning and the guy was like... 'okey... finish up your drinks... it is already late... u need to go home...' and he even refuses to shake hands with her just because of that... and he told the girl that she doesnt need to come all the way to his place if she want to meet him... and he says that the girl don't have to come to his open house as it is cancelled (which is a lie) and both of them would probably b busy with work loads and all that they can bearly have time for the relationship... the boy says that he needs time to understand the girl as he thinks that the girl put her work as her priority... and the conversation ends with... 'lets concentrate on our career and hopefully none of us would regret it at the end of the day... take care...'

whoooaaa!! drama uh~ lol...

god!! i am really exhausted!! i've been doing overtimes the whole week... well, since ramadhan and now i am really really exhausted!! like really!! god... i just don't know how to emphasize on how tired i am... i need a massage asap!! here is a story that touched me and i want to share it with others... enjoy!

THE BRICK

A young and successful executive was traveling down a neighborhood street, going a bit too fast in his new Jaguar. He was watching for kids darting out from between parked cars and slowed down when he thought he saw something. As his car passed, no children appeared. Instead, a brick smashed into the Jag's side door!
He slammed on the brakes and backed the Jag back to the spot where the brick had been thrown. The angry driver then jumped out of the car, grabbed the nearest kid and pushed him up against a parked car shouting, 'What was that all about and who are you? Just what the heck are you doing? That's a new car and that brick you threw is going to cost a lot of money Why did you do it?' The young boy was apologetic. 'Please, mister...please, I'm sorry but I didn't know what else to do,' He pleaded. 'I threw the brick because no one else would stop...' With tears dripping down his face and off his chin, the youth pointed to a spot just around a parked car. 'It's my brother, 'he said 'He rolled off the curb and fell out of his wheelchair and I can't lift him up.' Now sobbing, the boy asked the stunned executive, 'Would you please help me get him back into his wheelchair? He's hurt and he's too heavy for me.'

Moved beyond words, the driver tried to swallow the rapidly swelling lump in his throat. He hurriedly lifted the handicapped boy back into the wheelchair, then took out a linen handkerchief and dabbed at the fresh scrapes and cuts. A quick look told him everything was going to be okay. 'Thank you and may God bless you,' the grateful child told the stranger. Too shook up for words, the man simply watched the boy! push his wheelchair-bound brother down the sidewalk toward their home.

It was a long, slow walk back to the Jaguar. The damage was very noticeable, but the driver never bothered to repair the dented side door. He kept the dent there to remind him of this message: 'Don't go through life so fast that someone has to throw a brick at you to get your attention!' God whispers in our souls and speaks to our hearts. Sometimes when we don't have time to listen, He has to throw a brick at us. It's our choice to listen or not.

Thought for the Day:

- If God had a refrigerator, your picture would be on it.

- If He had a wallet, your photo would be in it.

- He sends you flowers every spring.

- He sends you a sunrise every morning Face it, friend - He is crazy about you!
- God didn't promise days without pain, laughter without sorrow, sun without rain, but He did promise strength for the day, comfort for the tears, and light for the way.
- If God brings you to it, He will bring you through it.

my favourite kuih raya!! yum2x!!
i think in the inside is the hard suji and then it is covered with chocolate...
omg!! i just can't resisit it!!

lets challenge your mind!!

Just try this. It is from an orthopedic surgeon... This will boggle your mind and you will keep trying over and over again to see if you can outsmart your foot, but, you can't. It's preprogrammed in your brain!

1. While sitting where you are at your desk in front of your computer, lift your right foot off the floor and make clockwise circles.

2. Now, while doing this, draw the number '6' in the air with your right Hand. Your foot will change direction.

I told you so!!! And there's nothing you can do about it! You and I both know how stupid it is, but before the day is done you are going to try it again, if you've not already done so. hahahahhah...

to all muslims, read this!!

i recieved my graduation photos yesterday... and and the pictures are fucking ugly!! no... i mean, my face is fugly in those pictures!! it must be the lighting... lol... anyways, i'll make sure that i'll go on diet when i am graduating for my degree; which i don't know when... -_-"

working life sucks! from all the early morning wake up calls, to the work loads, during all the times when there are no work at all, bosses and all the overtimes required... but yeah... life must go on... i hope i can't continue my studies asap...

dancing under the milky twilight~ <------- i am sure it'll be fun!

attention girls!! read this!!

Something Oprah Had To Say About Men

If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away.

If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay.

Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior.

Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache.

Stop trying to change yourself for a relationship that's not meant to be.

Slower is better.

Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy.

If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve, then heck no, you can't "be friends".

A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend.

Don't settle.If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is.

Don't stay because you think "it will get better." You'll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better.

The only person you can control in a relationship is YOU.

Avoid men who've got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women. He didn't marry them when he got them pregnant, why would he treat you any differently?

Always have your own set of friends separate from his.

Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you.

If something bothers you, speak up.

Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later. (this is the exact thing that my mom used to tell me...)

You cannot change a man's behavior.Change comes from within.

Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are... even if he has more education or in a better job. Do not make him into a quasi-god. He is a man, nothing more nothing less.

Never let a man define who you are.

Never borrow someone else's man.

If he cheated with you, he'll cheat on you.

A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you.

You should not be the one doing all the bending...compromise is two way street.

You need time to heal between relationships...there is nothing cute about baggage... deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship.

You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you...a relationship consistsof two WHOLE individuals...look for someone complimentary...not supplementary.

Dating is fun...even if he doesn't turn out to be Mr. Right.

Make him miss you sometimes...when a man always know where you are, andyou're always readily available to him - he takes it for granted.

Never move into his mother's house.

Never co-sign for a man.

Don't fully commit to a man who doesn't give you everything that you need.

Keep him in your radar but get to know others.

They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them,a day to love them and an entire lifetime to forget them.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

my fat baby is back!! yey!! dunno what i am talking about...? its my cat!! yes!! that fat cat!! lol... miss him lottss~ he had been with me the whole day... okey... not entirely the whole day...whenever i'm at home... i am sure he misses me... =) miss u too gemok!! muahhhxx~

cleaned up the house and cooked spaghetti today as the ex boyfriend is coming for hari raya... first text msg that i received this morning... around 10.00 am... from his sister...

"kak... akak masak spaghetti tak...?? hehhehe..." -_-"

wow!! its been a while since the last time i updated my blog.. and its already the 8th day of eid... i won't upload any raya pics here as most of my blog readers are my facebook and friendster friends... hahhah... talking about facebook; i was sooo pissed off with my laptop and internet connection because it took me like 1 hour to upload 1 picture!! like wtf!! super slow~ hummph... need to get a new laptop and upgrade my internet speed...

raya was okey... it is not as exciting as it used to be... may be because we are not kids anymore... how i wish i can stay as kids forever... lol... duit raya...?? hmm... just rm100++... plus i have to give duit raya to mak johore, cik ah and farisya... haizz... and aunty cha kept mumbling that she have yet to 'taste' my salary... -_-"

i am back to work!! fucking irritating!! i am just lazy to elaborate about it...

i want these fairy costumes!!

i miss my baby cat!!